Archive for September, 2007
I woke up about 7:15 this morning. Hope was licking my face and trying to get my attention. I forgot to bring her leash to the bedroom last night so I had to carry her to the kitchen in my arms. I put her on the leash and left her to do her business. She is paper trained, but I do not trust her to go to the paper first thing in the morning without her leash.
Mom did not leave for church until 8:30 so I talked to her some before she left. It was 58 degrees outside so we opened the door and set up the fan to cool the house.
My refrigerator is not keeping things very cold so I moved the bologna and milk to Mom’s refrigerator. I turned the setting as high as it will go so I am hoping that it will cool down.
I listened to music loud for a few minutes then turned it off to vacuum. My niece, Carrie Leigh, called and we talked for about an hour. I eventually vacuumed the house.
Alex signed into MSN and I chatted with him just a few moments. Mom came home. She brought food from church, so I ate. When I came back, Alex’s setting was away and he did not come back all afternoon.
My ex-sister-in-law came to visit Mom. They decided to go eat in town. Mom asked me to go, but I really did not want to hang out with Linda and my money is limited so I had a good excuse to stay home.
I ate a bologna, cheese, and tomato sandwich.
I spent the time they were gone reading the novel I have been trying to finish. I finally finished reading it this evening. It was The Secret Servant by Daniel Silva. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It is a spy novel with lots of action. I would recommend it to anyone who likes thrillers.
Hope has acted as a terrorist dog today. She will not leave Penny alone. I have tied her up quite a lot. I hate to restrain her, but I know no other way to protect Penny.
Something funny happened yesterday. My brother, James, has two horses, a reddish brown female Quarter horse named Joanna and a black male Arabian named Sheton. There are pictures of them in the Pictures From My Walk album. Anyway, Sheton came up to the fence whinnying and then whinnying and sniffing the ground. He was very agitated and went into his stall wanting my brother to come see him. James went over and talked to Sheton asking him where was Joanna. Sheton shook his head and did this several times as James talked to him. These two horses are nearly inseparable. James told Sheton he would help him find Joanna. He got on his four-wheeler and set out looking for her with Sheton following. Joanna was hiding in the field down near our house and was just refusing to answer Sheton’s calls. My brother said, "Just like a woman." Horses can be very stubborn.
I better post this and get off to bed. I try to go to bed around 10:00 most of the time.
Even though I went to bed about 11:30 last night, I got up before 7:00 this morning. I am so grateful that I am able to sleep on a regular schedule. I have been insomnia free for a while now and that is a huge relief.
Mom gave Hope and Penny baths this morning and I blew Hope dry. Hope behaves much better for Mom in the bath than she does for me, so Mom bathes her for me.
Wendell and Frances, Mom’s homebound buddies, from the church came to visit this morning. I tied Hope up while they were here because she gets overly excited when visitors come to the house.
I checked the blogs on my list and left a few comments. There were not many new entries. I guess that most of my blog friends have tired of writing, or are too busy with their lives to update their blogs very often.
I read some in Coaching the Artist Within by Eric Maisel. I am hoping that this book will encourage my writing. I find the exercises very good. I have been having a hard time writing because I want everything I write to be perfect from the beginning. I do not give myself much room to practice my craft. I am very resistant to writing at all. This was not how it used to be, but I have been blocked almost completely for a couple of years now. I am not doing art either. I do not want to make mistakes, so I rarely begin anything creative. Writing in this blog for the last week seems to be more cathartic creatively than anything I have done in a long while. I actually have the desire to write and that has been lacking for a long time. I do not think of the blog as creative writing, but even journaling is good practice. It gives words and thoughts a form. I did write a poem during this week. It was not a very good poem, but it was something with a meaning. I think I have felt that I did not matter for some time. Therefore, nothing I could write or create had any worth. This is changing a little. One of the exercises I did today was to say I matter and my creative work matters about thirty times. This was a good thing. It made me aware that I was not valuing my creative work or myself. Awareness is one step on the path to change.
I also continued reading the novel I am trying to finish. It is a very good book, but I have been neglecting reading it because I have been using the computer a lot.
I chatted with Alex a little while this afternoon. He got up at about 4:00pm. Alex is a hard core gamer who usually plays World of Warcraft as he chats with me. I do not command much of his attention. I asked him if he bought Halo 3 and he said yes. He has already nearly beaten the game. I am glad I no longer have to pay for his gaming addiction. I could not afford it.
I called in Mom’s prescriptions today. Taking care of her medicines is one of the things I do for her. She would not be able to handle it on her own. We will pick up the prescriptions on Tuesday when we go into town to get our flu shots. We try to combine tasks when we go to town because it is a fifteen-mile drive one way and gas is so expensive.
I read some articles on www.salon.com. I am glad I subscribed again. You can read articles without a subscription. It had been about a year since my subscription ran out. Now that I am using the computer a lot again I enjoy reading alternative media. One of the articles was about increasing the number of troops in the military. I do not see how we will do this successfully without reinstating the draft. There are not many young people who are interested in serving in the military in time of war. Alex wanted to be a Marine from the time he was about eight, but that is unusual. Most young adults want their freedom and see the military as a forfeiture of that right.
Mom is going to church in the morning so I will have the house to myself for a little while. I am hoping to listen to some music while she is gone. I have to vacuum the house while she is out so there will be little time to turn the volume up.
I am grateful that Alex is happy and doing what he loves.
I am grateful that Hope fills my life with joy.
I am grateful that Mom is doing well.
I am grateful that I can read.
I am grateful that I can write.
I am grateful that the weather is getting cooler.
I am grateful that I have a functioning computer.
I am grateful that I am an American.
I am grateful that I have a decent home.
I am grateful that I have food to eat.
Sometimes I complain and forget to be thankful, but I have so many things for which to be grateful. Life is essentially good. There is much happiness to be had in my daily life. I am fortunate to be alive and each day is a gift.
I hope all is well with each of you.
I keep forgetting to write about what happened on Wednesday, September 12. Mom went off with the senior citizens. She talked to James that morning and told him the air conditioning was making a clicking noise, but he said not to worry about it. She told me before she left. I kept hearing noises coming from the air conditioner and then I smelt electrical burning coming out of the vent in my room. I called James and told him about the smell. He came down. When he got here the air conditioner was not on and he turned off the breaker so we could clean it. The coils were covered with dust and dog hair. We vacuumed and brushed them off. The Kirby was not working very well, and no wonder it gave up on Sunday right after this. James turned the breaker on the air conditioner back on and there was blue flame in the bottom of the unit. He quickly turned it off and we called the technician. He came out that afternoon and replaced the capacitor that was burning up. If I had not been here and noticed what was happening the house would have burned down. God is so good to take care of us even when we are not aware of it.
I woke up at 6:00 this morning, but tried to go back to sleep and did not get up until 6:30. Hope was already awake and ready to go. She may have been what woke me. Hope is very loving and an attention hound. She loves to be held and petted.
My good friend Sam died on June 2. He was only forty-nine. I miss him so much because we talked every day. He was a very special person and so considerate. He always made me feel like I was important to him. His mother and I have become friends and I sent her a card this morning. We talk on the phone about once a week. It makes me feel closer to Sam to talk to her.
I have a wireless mouse and sometimes I hate it. It goes dead at the most inconvenient times. It also uses too many batteries. The most irritating thing about it is that it flashes red light all the time and sometimes that makes it hard to sleep. I think there could be a better design.
I have three journals in which I wrote down original writing prompts. I wish I could get them published because I think other writers would find them useful. I have not done most of the prompts, but they are very good. I actually wrote them about seven years ago.
Today was educator’s day at Borders. I home-schooled Alex so I qualify as a retired educator. Mom and I went to the special event this afternoon. I won one of the grand prize giveaways. It had many nice goodies in it. I got a journal, some note cards, a nice tote bag, some mini office tools, a photo dome, a pencil and some stickers, a memo holder, a pencil holder, a book cover, and a bunch of coupons and gift cards. I took some of my rainy day money and bought some writing books since I got 25% off today. I got Coaching the Artist Within by Eric Maisel, A Writer’s Coach by Jack Hart, Writing Poetry From The Inside Out by Sandford Lyne, Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark, and Telling True Stories edited by Mark Kramer and Wendy Call. I hope these books will help inspire me. I also bought two cups and an adorable puppy bookmark. Now I have to replace the money at the first of the month, but I saved over $28.
We stopped at Burger King and I had a Whopper for supper. I had not had a fast food burger in a while and it was good.
I chatted with Alex. He is off until Sunday afternoon. Last weekend he did rifle qualifications and was disappointed because he only qualified as marksman. I am glad he shoots that well.
Mom did not go off so I will not have the house to myself this weekend, but that is okay. It is somewhat lonely when she goes off anyway.
I hope everyone has a good weekend.
I got up at 7:00. I think I actually woke Hope up this morning. Usually she is awake and ready to get out of bed when I wake up.
Mom fixed me eggs and toast for breakfast so I did not have my usual cereal. Mom likes me to write her cards for her because her handwriting is not good due to her shaking with Parkinson’s disease. I wrote three cards for her yesterday and three more today. I let her use two of my cards today because they were appropriate for what she was sending. I have many cards.
We left for town at 10:00. We went by the feed store so Mom could get Dipel to go on the garden. We stopped at Sam’s Club and Mom picked up a few things. I dropped off my prescriptions so I would not lose them before I needed them. We went to Wal-Mart and I picked up some bologna, vanilla syrup for my coffee, and a toy and bandana for Hope. Mom picked up her jacket at the dry cleaners. We went by the bank and cashed my rebate check. I decided I would rather go home than eat at a restaurant because I was not very hungry. We stopped by Dollar General and I picked up some licorice, cards, and two blank books.
Mom cooked some bacon and I had a bacon and tomato sandwich for lunch. It was delicious. I am so glad we still have fresh tomatoes. I hope the collards Mom planted do well. I am not a big collard fan, but with the turnips from James’ garden mixed in they will be good.
I think I will go to Borders tomorrow. I would like to browse the writing books and art books.
Mom gave Hope an empty squeeze tube to play with this morning. When I gave her the new toy I bought for her today, she actually dropped it and went back to playing with the squeeze tube. I had to take it away from her and throw it away because she had gnawed it until it was coming apart.
Mom’s arthritis is causing her a lot of pain so I asked the pharmacist at Sam’s if there was a medication other than Celebrex that she could take. She suggested I have her doctor call in a prescription for Mobic. Evidently, it is very good and comes in a $4.00 generic. I called Mom’s doctor’s office when we got home, but they have not called in the prescription yet. The office was having phone problems so it may be tomorrow before they can call it in. I hope it will be good and help her be more comfortable.
Alex was not online today so I did not get to chat with him.
James, my brother, thinks they will be doing exploratory surgery instead of just a biopsy. He may have to be in the hospital for three days. I guess we will be going to be at the hospital while they do the surgery. He does not know when it will be yet.
Mom scheduled our flu shots at Kroger on October 2. Our doctor never gets the flu shot early and Mom is afraid there is going to be a shortage. We have been getting our flu shots at Kroger for a few years.
I have $15.59 left in my bank account. That should get me through the end of the month. I could have skipped buying the toy and bandana for Hope, but she is my baby.
Just a way to share
A bit of my day to day
With others in the world.
Maybe something I say
Will inspire another
Along their own pathway.
But words from my heart
Open for all to read.
Making friends far and near
Through experience shared
In words honestly presented.
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
© September 27, 2007
Does not seem like there is much to write about, just mundane things. I seem to stay busy though. I have noticed that many of my blog buddies do not blog as much as they once did. I am hoping to continue writing daily, but it is hard to be interesting every day.
Hope you all have a good day.
Well, the squirt bottle does not work all the time to stop Hope from attacking Penny. I soaked her with it last night and she just kept going after Penny. I had to tie her up for about an hour to separate them.
Chatted with Alex long enough to tell him I love him today. He was getting ready to go to work.
James went to see a surgeon today to schedule his biopsy.
The DirecTv technician came about 5:00. He realigned the dish and changed the transponder, but that did not fix the problem. He decided it was the wiring and ran new wire. That fixed it and the television is functioning fine now. Hope was scared of the technician and hid in my room the whole time he was here. That is very unusual for Hope she usually befriends everyone. She finally started acting more normal after he had been gone an hour or so.
My uncle sent my Mom some onions and tomato seed. She planted about half of the onions and is giving the rest to my brother, James, to plant in his garden. The tomato seed are for next year.
I had wanted to find some boxes of all occasion cards since the other day when I had such a limited choice of card for my mother’s birthday. I knew I had a few nice boxes of them, but I was unable to get to them. I thought they were on a shelf I could not access. Last night, I moved stuff around so I could get to the place where I thought the cards were, but they were not there. I was determined to find them so I tried another shelf. They wound up being under it. I was so happy I found them. I wrote Richard, Alex’s father, a birthday card last night. This morning I wrote Reba, my best friend, a card congratulating her on her new house. I had not sent out any cards in a long time. Maybe this writing thing is paying off. I hope I will start some creative writing soon.
I think we are going to town tomorrow. Mom has a jacket at the dry cleaners to pick up and I need to get a few groceries. I also have a $20.00 rebate check to cash from AT&T. That money will come in handy. Maybe we can have lunch in town. I would really like a restaurant meal.
I think Mom may go out of town for the weekend. I am looking forward to having the house to myself for a few days. I can play my music louder when she is not home. I do not have to worry about doing stuff outside when she is gone and can enjoy reading and computing without feeling guilty for not spending the time with her.
I am so fortunate to have the wonderful Mom I do. I do not know how I would get along without her. We do not always agree, but we get along well most of the time. I am blessed with a terrific son too. I am so proud of Alex. He has grown up to be an exceptional young man. I am lucky to have Hope who loves me and allows me to love her. She makes the days more joyful.
I am grateful for books to read, this blog to write in, and a decent home to live in. There are so many blessings in my life. Things are not ideal, but I am mostly happy and that is great.
There is not much going on today. I had homemade vegetable soup for lunch. Unfortunately, it was not very filling.
I tried the spray bottle on Hope as Dramma suggested and it seems to work. She stops bothering Penny immediately.
My brother, James, is going to have a biopsy on his stomach. We are hoping it is not cancer, but are afraid it is. He has survived lung cancer so maybe he will survive this. I am very worried.
Alex and I chatted a few minutes before he went to work today. He says he has no specific time to get off from work. He works until he is finished. He is enjoying the truck. It makes it so he does not have to walk a mile to work and back. He had been standing in line at the drive-thru, so having a truck to drive up in is much better.
Our TV is freezing up on audio and video so DirecTv is coming out tomorrow to fix it. I think the dish needs aligning, but we cannot do it.
I actually watched TV last night. The NBC line up interested me. I watched Chuck, Heroes, and JourneyMan. I enjoyed all three, but particularly liked JourneyMan. It surprised me because I usually do not watch TV. Mom watched The Bachelor. She is a fan of that show. I think she has watched it every season it was televised.
Mom wondered if she could start a blog. I told her sure, but she would have to type. She said she would wait. I set her up with internet access on her laptop about a month ago. She does not use the internet much. She really does not understand surfing the net. I am trying to teach her, but she forgets what I tell her from one time to the next. She enjoys playing games on the laptop, but uses it for little else.
I am hoping my computer will stay viable for another few years. I would lose a lot of programming if I had to change machines because I downloaded games from the internet and do not have the codes to make them work if I loaded them on a new computer. I also have no idea how to migrate iTunes and I have over 20GB of music on my iPod. The other factor is that I have no money for a new computer. Most of the time my computer works very well. I have thought of upgrading to Vista, but am not sure that it would work correctly so I am sticking with XP.
I am trying to make sure I do not have to buy anything else this month because I only have $47.83 left in my bank account. This is better than last month when at this time I only had $1.69. I almost over drew my account last month because I forgot to enter my MSN payment in my account register.
I am using OneNote and Windows Live Writer to do this entry. I learned a little more about WLW in the last couple of days and think I might grow to like it. I still wish I could just use Word because of the grammar checker, but I have learned to just copy and paste to it for proofing and use the other programs for posting.
I hope everyone is having a good week.
I vacuumed the house yesterday. The new Kirby does a good job. Only thing I do not like about it is that it tries to suck up all the throw rugs Mom has around the house. Makes vacuuming an adventure.
Hope and Penny got baths this morning and I blew them dry. They smell so good when they are freshly bathed. They never smell bad because they get weekly baths.
The president is going to veto a bill to help insure kids and I think this is very wrong-headed of him. Alex was on PeachCare or he would have had no insurance as a child. Low-income families need the aid to have insurance coverage.
Mom came home early yesterday and did not go to the Round Up at church. She did go to Sunday school and Church dressed as a cowgirl though. Her friend, June, went to see her grandson, Bradley, off into the Army. He joined for two years.
Today, Mom and June are off to town again.
I wish I could crank the lawn mower. I would mow the yard. It is getting a little high, but the mower is too hard for me to start.
Mom picked tomatoes this morning, and I had a bologna, cheese, and tomato sandwich for lunch. The fresh tomato makes a sandwich delicious.
Alex and I chatted for a very few minutes last night. He reiterated that being a Marine is exactly what he wants to do. I feel bad that he did not get bonuses like Bradley did for going into the Army, but he is happy with it. He is committed to his service and says he wants to do forty years in the Marine Corps. I am so glad he is doing what he loves.
I want to put up a list of the books I have read this year, but I think it is too much work to get the pictures to show and everything. I have to finish the book I am reading. Using the computer takes away from my reading time.
Hope proved that she is still a terrorist dog by eating one of my nice notepads yesterday. I call her terrorist dog when she misbehaves or devil dog. Devil Dog is a nickname for Marines so I do not consider it a slur to call her that. I have been hoping, as she grew older that she would mellow some, but seems that is wishful thinking. She still bedevils Penny by chewing on her ears quite often. I do not understand why Penny will not take up for herself. If anybody has any suggestions on how to stop Hope from biting Penny’s ears, I would love to hear them. I hate tying her up to keep her away from Penny, but I cannot think of anything else to do.
I took Mom’s picture in her cowgirl outfit today. I hope to post the pictures in this entry. If that does not work out you can see them in an album called My Mom.
Alex left for the Marine Corps on June 4, 2006. I wrote this poem while he was in boot camp. I am glad that we are in touch with each other more often now. I do not miss him quite as much as I did then.
You have left your place
Emptiness fills the space.
I miss your voice, your face.
You are brave and true.
I am very proud of you,
But fearful too.
No other person can
Touch me as you can
Because you are my young man.
My mother’s heart
Is torn apart,
But it’s your life’s start.
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
© Sunday, August 20, 2006
After the university shooting in April, I wrote this poem. I titled it Massacre because I wanted it to have universality. I thought about what had happened and thought there were so many other situations to which the poem could apply.
Blood ripped bone.
Thoughts in shambles
Senseless destruction, death.
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
© Wednesday, April 18, 2007
That is the last time I wrote a poem. In fact, I had not written anything until I posted on the blog Friday. I hope writing here will make it easier to write creatively elsewhere.
Today is Round Up at my church, where I do not go, so my Mom dressed up as a cowgirl. I may post a picture of her later. I did not have good light to take one before she left this morning.
Church is too political for me to feel comfortable there. I still love God and pray, but the organized religion thing is a little much for me. There are so many things the Baptist Church is against that I am not at ease with it anymore. I sometimes miss the fellowship, but so many of the people believe things I disagree with that it is better not to be around them. I guess I am too liberal to be a good Southern Baptist now. I am a member of Humanity’s Team and that resonates with me. I would like to see all people embrace one another as One. I think peace could be achieved if we could lay aside fundamentalist ideologies.
I am just hanging out today. I sleep on a regular schedule nowadays, so I got up at about 7:20am. Penny, my mother’s dog, was barking at my bedroom door and Hope got so excited she was pouncing all over the bed and me. Hope has only been sleeping in the bed with me for a week. She slept in the crate before because I thought she would tear up things if she were left loose. Sleeping with me seems to be working out though. Oh, you should look at Hope’s pictures in the album Hope, My Puppy Dog. She is a real cutie.
Mom stayed out until 8:00 last night. She went to yard sales, visited a friend, went to JC Penny Outlet, and just had an awesome time with her friend June. I am so glad she has such a good friend. Since Mom cannot drive, she would not get to do near as many things if she did not have someone who cares about her. She brought me home some clothes from the yard sales. I am not big on used clothes, but these look nice and I can at least wear them around here. The long sleeved pajamas will come in handy this winter… if we have a winter. Things have gotten so warm that we hardly have any cold in Georgia anymore. It is like living in the Tropics.
Speaking of pajamas, I am still in mine. I better get dressed and do some housework. I do all that around here these days. Mom works outdoors, but I take care of the indoors. I should do a better job of it, but there is so much clutter in the house that it is hard to clean. It is not dirty anyway, just not spotless like my Mom likes things.
Please read the two previous entries to catch up with what is going on if you have not been here in a while or are new.
I hope you have a good day.
I have not written about the change in Alex’s MOS. He was dropped from intelligence training and put in flight equipment support. He had to learn to rig parachutes and fix all the survival gear on planes. He does not like his job much and intends to go back to intelligence training as soon as he can.
Alex is a Lance Corporal now. He hopes to advance rapidly from now forward. He has talked of going back to Parris Island as a drill instructor, but does not know if he will meet the physical requirements.
I am hoping Alex will decide to go to officers training. I would love to see him do it.
Today is Mom’s seventy-eighth birthday. She got up before I did at 7:00am and was already gone for the day. I hope she has a wonderful day.
I have to take my Nikon D50 in for maintenance. It is working fine and everything, but my extended warranty runs out in February and I want to make sure it is in good shape.
My all-in-one no longer works as a fax machine. I broke it around Christmas last year and let the warranty run out before I realized it was broken. I called HP, no joke, two days after the warranty ran out and they would not fix my all-in-one. It was terrible. The scanner, printer, copier functions still work fine. I just cannot send a fax, so I guess it is okay. I do not have the money for a new one.
I worked for hours on the blog yesterday. The blog was not showing up on the opening page. I finally found that by using a template I could make the blog appear. I did that and moved some modules around. I am not really pleased with the theme so I may be changing that a bit. I cleared the links that no longer went to blogs and did some general housekeeping. I hope I have made some improvements.
I decided yesterday that I did not like using Live Writer. I will be using OneNote and the regular blog posting mechanism to do my blogs.
Well, it has been a long time since I have written here. Alex came home for Christmas. I decided to get an iPod. Mom’s health has improved.
Mom got an implant for her back pain. It is a stimulator which sends electrical impulses up her spine and short circuits pain impulses to her brain. She is not in pain at all now and before it had almost completely incapacitated her.
Alex came home in June and got his Volvo and took it to his duty station at Cherry Point, North Carolina. The car broke down before the week was out so he had no transportation.
I bought a Bose SoundDock for my iPod. It makes it so I can listen to the iPod as stereo anywhere in the house.
My brother James bought a new truck and sold his Explorer Sport Trac to my Mom. She wanted to sell her 2000 Ranger to Alex. I got in touch with him and he was delighted to have the chance to buy the Ranger. His father, Richard, went and picked up the Volvo and Alex from Cherry Point and brought Alex to Atlanta on August 31. Richard now owns the Volvo again since he gave it to Alex in the first place. We picked Alex up downtown and got home about 2:30am on September 1. Alex got the truck titled and tagged in his name on September 4. He spent the week with us and went back to Cherry Point on Friday.
My puppy is a year old now and I have had her just over a year. She is a delight. I am so glad that I got her.
I had been using the computer very little because my chair was full of magazines. I finally moved the magazines to the storage building so I have been using the computer more. I am still not writing or doing anything creative… but I think that is going to change. I hope to get back into blogging.
Sunday our 21 year old Kirby stopped working. Monday morning I called the distributor to see how much it would cost to have it rebuilt. He said it would be at least $150.00. I knew the new Kirby machines were selling for $1995.00. I told the distributor that I had been a Kirby dealer and knew they sold the vacuums for less than asking price. He sent his wife out to show us the new Kirby. Somehow my Mom talked them into selling her the new one for only $800.00. Of course we traded the old machine in, but still it amazes me how good a deal Mom got. This new Kirby is self-propelled and a joy to use. I love it. Not bad for the best vacuum in the world.
Yesterday, Mom had to have surgery on an ingrown toenail. I am glad I don’t get those.
I went to my psychiatrist’s office today and got prescription refills for the next five months. I am doing pretty well. I do not have to go to the office as often as I used to.
Alex is going to Iraq in February 2008. I am apprehensive about it, but I know he is doing what he wants to in the Marine Corps, so I am mostly at peace with it. I am sure it will be hard to see him go.
I have read 74 books this year, but I have not been reading as much since I started using the computer more. I do a lot of reading online. I have subscriptions to www.Salon.com and www.TheNewRepublic.com . I really enjoy these two online magazines and I read a lot on www.msnbc.com .