Just Thinking Out Loud

In deference to all the cat owners who blog, I got a feline totem to sit on my desk today. I can not have the real thing, but the small token pictured below will happily watch over me as I sit here typing. Maybe it will prove inspirational when I am at a loss of words.

 

I am not ready to retire yet. I think I was out of my room too much today. I miss being here when I am gone and although the outside world is fine, I find more intellectual stimulation here at my computer. Guess that makes me less than sociable, but I have always been comfortable in the company of myself.

 

I bought some blank cards today, the thing is I rarely write letters anymore, just no one to write to. I love to write letters, but I have found that few people reciprocate these days. It gets a little old to write letters and get no response. Eventually one begins to feel the missives sent are an imposition to the recipient, and that does not feel pleasant.

 

I also bought blank books. These are beautiful things, but I find I rarely write in these because they are so nice I cannot put my drivel in them. The question that begs asking is then why must I buy these items? I truly wish I understood the compulsion. I do not understand why I collect these things.

 

It is not like I should spend money frivolously as I have precious little on which to survive two people. I wonder how to eliminate the compulsion to acquire things. This is a deep seated problem for me and causes me a lot of stress.

 

Mmm… I have been listening to music from Media Player while computing. Random songs are playing from my library and it is such a good mix. I wish I had had this ability years ago. Right now "Bad to the Bone" is playing and it sounds so appropriate to me. I really should play music more often, but for some reason I don’t.

 

I guess I should turn in now. I am still not sleepy, but 7:00AM comes early.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

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  1. #1 by Unknown on March 9, 2005 - 5:49 am

    Hello! I discovered your blog by way of Bill\’s "Crackers in Bed" and enjoyed it very much. I had a MSN blog for a really brief time, but decided I didn\’t want to deal with the maintance of blogging. Anyway, your entries are refreshingly honest. I can relate to how while you enjoy being out and about yet relishing solitude from time to time. Time is a precious commodity and it is something the need to acquire materialism can not replace nor money can buy. I\’ll bookmark your site and visit. Thanks!

  2. #2 by Unknown on March 9, 2005 - 5:55 am

    Can I add one more comment? 🙂 Do you feel the reason you buy blank books other than for their beauty is because a book with blank pages is like a fresh slate to start your life from?

  3. #3 by Jo Ann on March 9, 2005 - 8:17 am

    Crackers is great. I am glad you found your way here. Blogging is a pretty demanding thing. I find I am always thinking about what I am going to post, weighing things for whether I should write about them or not. Thanks for the compliments and do come back. I do enjoy being out a lot, but I also want to be here. There is serenity here in my room and I can interact without actually having physical contact which is a little easier for me.I do not know if that could be the idea behind the blank books, because mostly they just sit here in my room. I never write in them, but having them makes me feel that I can always start something new and exciting. I need to quit buying them but they seem irrestible.Always,Jo Ann

  4. #4 by Stephen on March 9, 2005 - 8:46 am

    Jo Ann -I do the same thing with clean books I see at Border\’s everytime I\’m there. I\’ve even bought a couple. My hang up is I think what I write wouldn\’t be good enough to darken the pages with. Where I get that I\’ll never know. :)Stephen

  5. #5 by Jo Ann on March 9, 2005 - 9:43 am

    Stephen,That is exactly what I do and I do not know why I do it. I tend to be perfectionistic and if the handwriting was not perfect and the entry earth shatteringly important I would think I had ruined the whole book. It is crazy, but then again I have papers 😉 so that is okay. I think we should all send our inner critics somewhere remote and leave them stranded for eternity. I think a lot of creative people have such problems and that is a major contributing factor to creative block. I am shocked that I can even produce a blog on a daily basis… lots of times I have to say it is okay no matter what I write, that I am just trying to do this daily. It is a commitment I made to myself. If it turns out worthwhile great, if not well at least I kept my promise to myself.Smiles, Jo Ann

  6. #6 by Mike on March 9, 2005 - 10:34 am

    I don\’t buy blank journals, but I do tend to treat each day as an empty page. Life is just a whole series of one "right now" after another. This generally gives me enough material to keep filling the pages of my "book."

  7. #7 by L on March 9, 2005 - 12:45 pm

    Hi Jo Ann,I feel the same way when it comes to money. If I win the lottery I will send some your way. I would love a real pen pal if you are serious. If your interested you can send your address to nitanis@yahoo.com Think about it, no pressure. Have a good day. 🙂

  8. #8 by Jo Ann on March 9, 2005 - 1:50 pm

    Mike, thanks for stopping by. I tend to treat each day as something completely new too. I think of them as an original creation that I work a little more on each moment. The blank books are just something I collect.Thanks Leigh Ann, money is something I could always use more of. I am shooting you an email with my address in it.It would be cool to have a real pen pal. Smiles,Jo Ann

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