The List

My 101 things

 

  1. I was born in Peach County, Georgia
  2. My eyes are hazel, shifting from blue to green with my moods
  3. I learned to read and write by age three
  4. My first poems in collection were in many colors because I used colored pencils
  5. I had to use a first grade pencil in fifth grade because my handwriting had become so minute it required a magnifying glass for the teacher to read it
  6. I have been told I do not write my signature, I draw it
  7. I am a highly progressive Christian
  8. I am so liberal politically I am not sure I belong in any party
  9. The first serious lover of mine tried to shoot me at age thirteen by playing Russian roulette with a loaded pistol pointed at my head
  10. I love guns, but can not buy them myself due to my hospitalizations
  11. My Dad always told me that he was trying to teach me when he abused me
  12. I do not hate my Dad, he was sick and misguided, but I love him
  13. My first husband almost killed me, sometimes I still wonder what would happen if we met again
  14. My second husband is still a good friend of mine even though he does not see our son Alex as he should nor give any extra toward support
  15. My third husband said "Good-bye" so I have allowed him the freedom to move on without interference from me
  16. Jeff actually managed to break my heart completely, but I am surviving
  17. I will forgive anyone anything against me
  18. I can become highly volatile when angry
  19. I defend my mother and son like a lioness
  20. I love to collect things
  21. I have too many ink pens
  22. I read like books are on the endangered list
  23. I am a technology geek
  24. Even when life tries to take everything from me I refuse to give up
  25. Challenges make life interesting
  26. Change happens, I roll with it or it sweeps me away
  27. We have not had a vacation in ten years like Alex and I truly enjoy
  28. I really feel inadequate as a parent and a person
  29. My disease is a huge obstacle but I try to remember it could be much worse
  30. God is good and in control
  31. Blogging is amazing because I have made friends here just being myself
  32. I am too fat and will probably never be as thin as I would like
  33. Perfectionism does not begin to describe the standard to which I hold myself
  34. If survival of the fittest applied to all human beings in our society I would be dead by now
  35. If we lived in less enlightened times I would be considered demonic or totally deranged and would live my life sequestered from "normal" people
  36. I love the Rolling Stones
  37. Mick Jagger is one of the greatest showmen on earth even if he is getting somewhat older
  38. When I am angry I love to listen to Quiet Riot Mental Health loud
  39. Likewise I rock out to AC~DC when angry
  40. Music is a mood stabilizer for me
  41. I can not take illegal drugs so I use subversive music as an alternative
  42. I love to jump on the trampoline when I need to self-medicate
  43. I have a truly addictive personality and may become attached to anything
  44. Caring for others often comes in precedence to caring for my own needs
  45. I tend to be a deep thinker, but am not very rational
  46. My heart, feelings, and emotions rule my life
  47. If I believe you love me I will do literally anything for you
  48. Some think I trust too much and am naïve
  49. To my knowledge I hate no one living or dead
  50. I will never forget how you hurt me even though I will readily forgive you, this is to protect me from future abuse
  51. My son is one of the greatest people to ever grace this blue green planet and I believe one day many will know it
  52. Hot showers are a luxury I almost never go without
  53. I like fine scented soaps
  54. I will put health and dental care at a low priority so that I may have other things I enjoy
  55. My threshold for pain is very high
  56. Red, white, and black are my favorite colors
  57. My best nickname ever was "Gorgeous"
  58. Black and white is not my way of looking at life, there seem to me many shades of gray
  59. If I were an animal I would be a solid black Arabian mare
  60. Given more money I would try to do more good for others in the world
  61. No one should live one step away from poverty everyday
  62. I believe peace is attainable if we just look inside ourselves and act from love
  63. When things flow for me creatively all my poetry is done in one draft no corrections
  64. I am self-taught, education never helped much, my drive and hunger for learning is insatiable
  65. My libido is unlimited sexually, I come near being a nymphomaniac
  66. I will try anything that will not kill me, nothing scares me
  67. Sexually I am totally uninhibited
  68. I am addicted to Diet Coke in both regular and Caffeine Free varieties
  69. I only eat my steak medium rare or rarer, otherwise I send it back or do not enjoy it
  70. Bacardi 151 is my favorite liquor mixed with Diet Coke or in a Pina Colada
  71. I freely admit to liking my men tall and handsome and longer appendages are a plus
  72. I never knowingly plagiarize because I expect my own copyright to be respected
  73. I was a horticultural technician for sometime, but I never get plants of my own
  74. Once I had a photographic memory, now I do good to keep a plot more than a week in my head
  75. I have a hard time believing I have the ability to achieve anything
  76. I do love the people who consider me their own enemies
  77. I think if I had money to invest in the stock market quite probably I would easily become wealthy I have some sort of gift for it
  78. I have turned down some offers in my lifetime that would have probably changed everything in my life just because I had low self-esteem
  79. Computers are now approaching the abilities I imagined for them when I learned there were such things in elementary school
  80. I believe the work of Robert Heinlein is pure genius
  81. Lazarus Long is one of the great heroes of literature
  82. Part of my problem with living is that I am too creative, intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and unbounded to live within any sort of structure
  83. I burn bright like one who to tries to illuminate the whole world
  84. I would never be surprised to find I woke up after dying as a suicide, not something I relish, but something I realize happens to many others like me
  85. I am fragile, yet I am very strong, I survive
  86. Relentless could describe me
  87. Some people have called me a very good actress, I probably could make money in the profession if I was not so fat and unsightly
  88. I lettered in chorus three years in high school… could have been four, but I graduated early
  89. My church begs me to be in choir when I will go to church
  90. Organized religion is not my favorite game, too many hypocrites and judges, I think we all do well to remember we are each a sinner
  91. I will talk to and try to become friends with anyone if I am not too shy to interact at the time
  92. As best I can be I am honest with everyone
  93. Most people either love me or hate me, I tend to evoke strong emotion
  94. All three my ex-husbands still admit they love me very deeply, they just find living with me too difficult and call me high maintenance
  95. I have never slept with anyone who did not find it one of the sexual high points of his experience, I give my whole soul when I make love
  96. I almost never sleep behind a closed door or without a light in a nearby room when I am alone, I am afraid of being trapped and somewhat of the dark
  97. Scented candles are divine as a sensual pleasure
  98. Getting pregnant with Alex was a total shock as I had been reasonably active sexually from age thirteen with no real regular use of birth control, I was twenty-four and unwilling to abort what might be my only chance of having a child, so I fought for my babe from the moment I learned of his existence
  99. I actually see my disease as a gift at times because it is part of what makes me so unique, not too many can claim to be so deranged and still function within any normalcy
  100. Love is the principle purpose of all my life
  101. I hope when I die I am remembered fondly and with a big party instead of a dreary funeral
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  1. #1 by Kim on May 4, 2005 - 6:27 pm

    !!!WOW!!! !! You are an amazng person !! I don\’t see where you are fat and /or ugly though. I learned something just yesterday and want to share it with you. We are bound in these bodies, these shells, which become not to our liking because they become older day by day. Our souls stay at 30 years of age on the Other Side making it hard for us to see ourselves aging or not to our liking. When you find yourself unhappy with your looks go to the mirror, shut your eyes, surround yourself with the white light of the Holy Spirit, ask God to let yourself see your true spiritual self when you open your eyes back up. If you belive in Gods will you will not see yourself as ugly or fat but will see the beauty that lies within. An affirmation to say everyday – God made me for a reason therefore I walk with the white light of the Holy Spirit around me.I hope you have a great evening Jo Ann. {{ }} ~Kim~

  2. #2 by Hairrold on May 4, 2005 - 6:38 pm

    Quiet Riot & AC/DC Rock!! Nice to see U back!>;\’}

  3. #3 by Kenny on May 4, 2005 - 6:58 pm

    A fresh new look yet again…nice! Can\’t help liking your honesty, sincerity & passion for life. Your acceptance of destiny, your truly creative bright spirit, but don\’t let negativity spoil your happiness, Kim got it so right (see below) Our afflictions just make us stronger. We each of us have so much to offer the world, no instructions came with our life, yet we each have our purpose & that is evident in what we leave behind once we are gone. While we dance on this planet we call home, inside this body, we should be happy & always endeavour to make others happy as well. Those of us best equipped to do this, know how to give w/out expectation, yet sadly often at the expense of our own feelings. We should not view this as a bad thing, rather look for the posative. It\’s our attitude that determines the outcome & suddenly everything is so much brighter.A Beautiful post JoAnn!!! – Thanks for sharing…SmilesKenny

  4. #4 by Zen on May 4, 2005 - 7:56 pm

    I too believe Heinlein was a wiz, a perverted wiz, but a wiz none the less.Great list for a great person. 🙂

  5. #5 by Stephen on May 4, 2005 - 9:02 pm

    Jo Ann -Wow! Interesting list! I started mine, but ended at 50 … Good lord I\’m boring!-Stephen

  6. #6 by Sarah on May 4, 2005 - 9:59 pm

    Thank you for sharing. You are such a kind, caring person. Go easy on yourself, though. This is one of my favorite prayers:St. Theresa\’s Prayer: May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you….May you be content knowing you are a child of God…. Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.I try to recite it when I feel that things aren\’t going as I had planned.~Sarah

  7. #7 by Hairrold on May 4, 2005 - 11:58 pm

    Thx Jo, ur welcome anytime, & don\’t think I\’m not a li\’l short of a load myself!?>;\’}

  8. #8 by RHONDA and SCOTT on May 5, 2005 - 12:26 am

    I don\’t think you are fat…beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it is what inside your soul that counts and you, yourself, said that you would do almost anything for someone who loves you or that you care about….Don\’t worry, you are a kind hearted soul…-WD

  9. #9 by Barb on May 5, 2005 - 1:39 am

    What an incredible list, your honesty is profound and amazing.I find everything you write so very interesting you have such anamazing talent for expressing yourself. I don\’t like to be envious of any one ….but I hope you don\’t mind that I be just a little green:)I truly wish I had half your talent and ability!I very much enjoyed your 101 list, Thank you so much for sharing it.Have a Great Day !Cheers,Barb

  10. #10 by kala on May 5, 2005 - 5:47 am

    Lazarus Long is a great philosopical being… I love him. I actually use several of his quotes in day to day life. Great list Jo anne!!GODDESS

  11. #11 by Brenda on May 5, 2005 - 10:38 am

    sweet jeezus lady! that is all i can say!thanks so much for your comment yesterday….poor me has passed….for now anyway 😉

  12. #12 by Red on May 7, 2005 - 10:41 am

    Jo Ann…thanks for sharing and I see we have many things in common! I\’m sorry I haven\’t gotten to your blog lately…life seems to keep getting in my way of doing anything positive! Hang in there and I think we\’ll both dig ourselves out from under….

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