Today was mildly interesting even though I was hoping for a better day. I took Alex to school this morning so he could meet with his Algebra 2 teacher, who I found this afternoon stood him up. That irked me because in the process of taking him into the school this morning I nearly ran us off the road. I should not be driving that early in my present condition, this teacher would rank high on my list for getting a little piece of my oh so belligerent mind.
I came home and went back to bed. Mom woke me at 9:00AM because she was leaving the house and I was supposed to go out to run some of my errands with my niece Leigh. I called Leigh and she said she would be here around 11:00AM so I told her to call me as she came into our area so that I would be ready to go. I went back to bed. My medicine is still kicking my can well. I am so exhausted all the time.
I awoke at 11:00AM and called Leigh to find out if I had overslept. She told me, "Oh no, I just had the emissions inspection done on my van and I will be there in a while."
This did not sit well, but I stifled my comments and tried to remember when you ask for help you have to take what crumbs you are given.
Leigh had still not shown up by 2:00PM so I called her again. Now I was afraid we would not make it to the places I needed to go at all. She informed me she had been in downtown Atlanta picking up Jesse’s dry cleaning and she was on her way to me now. I was quite undone but managed to react civilly.
When she finally arrived here I told her I doubted we could do what I meant to accomplish at all. It took a great effort to be calm. As we left here, Mom was returning from her trip. When I realized Leigh had no idea where we were going I almost despaired of the whole thing.
This trip was important to me. For years, almost my whole life I have lived with a name that quite literally drives me nuts. I am Jo Ann and have been called such for every day of my life. My federal ID such as my Social Security Card is in that name and I may work under that name whenever and wherever I am employed. Because my birth certificate is in Joyce Anita the state of Georgia has stubbornly refused to issue my driver’s license in any other name. Even though I may here too pay my taxes as Jo Ann. This is a real issue for me because mother’s name is Joyce and I do not like to be called by that name. Even during this last hospitalization they would not put Jo Ann on my armband and staff called me Joyce repeatedly. It irks me and I hate the confusion it causes.
I do not mind being Jo Ann Joyce Anita Jordan… but that is my real name and not just whatever the state government decides is legitimate for them to tag me with, personally I use Jo Ann J. A. Jordan a lot. It is shorter and a bit less time consuming.
During my last divorce, from Jeff, back in 1997, I made it a condition of the decree that my name be fully instated as Jo Ann Joyce Anita Jordan. This was done with no hesitation because the man understood what hassles I have undergone due to such a misnomer on my documents. I found out when I bought the Jeep that they refused to title it to me in my real name. This aggravated me as this issue has never been a problem for me before.
Today Leigh and I went to the courthouse and got the certified divorce decree so that we could go to the DMVS and get my license changed into the name it should have been in from the very beginning. I now am who I say I am henceforth with no argument from anyone.
If you intend to be a parent do your child a favor and name it what you intend to call it. Do not pick some beautiful name and then use a nick-name that causes confusion for the remainder of his/her days. It was terrible for me, and I think my name is beautiful in its entirety, but being called Joyce never has been pleasant for me. My Mom and I just do not get along that well. I would never want my work as an artist or writer to appear without Jo Ann attached to it because that is who I am.
I am glad it is over, because frankly I have lived that nightmare long enough. I am now who I am and there will no longer be confusion about it. Thank God.