More 40 Days and 40 Nights

Day 14: In the Dark

 

Journal Prompts and My Responses

 

Were you ever afraid of the dark? Were you ever afraid of the boogeyman or whatever lay under your bed or hid in your closet?

 

  • Fear of the dark has been a recurring theme for me. I was scared of darkness as a child then at various times when I was insecure throughout my adulthood.
  • I was never afraid of what stayed under my bed. Mother demanded that under there stay so clean there was no place for anything to hide.
  • I have at times been afraid of what might be hiding in the closet. For many years, I hated closed closet doors because I could not readily see inside.

 

How have you come back from despair, trauma, heartache, or disappointment? What did you do to break out of the darkness?

 

  • Each time I have been overcome by negative emotion I have made a conscious effort to lift myself out of the abyss.
  • I have used writing to clarify my thoughts and give my reasoning ability to work.
  • I have used art to lighten and correct my mood.
  • I have been on medication to help me.
  • I have been in counseling to aid me in dealing with my feelings.
  • Often it seems that it is a matter of making up the mind that negative feelings are not to be part of my experience.

 

Moodlings… On The Simple Abundance Companion

 

  • Five things for which I am grateful today:
    1. I managed to be positive despite feeling hopeless
    2. I am proud to be a mother
    3. Mom fixed some food for me
    4. Someone I met in the hospital called me
    5. I am beginning to see clearly about my life again
  • An absolutely un-me thing I would love to do and what it might be like if I did it:
    • I would like to do a showing of my art or send out some of my writing for submission.
    • I would probably feel great about doing these things.
    • I would smile a lot.
  • Family beliefs that have held me back from living the life I have dreamed about:
    • Reading is a waste of time
    • Writing won’t pay the bills
    • Writing is a waste of time
    • Being told I could not write interesting stories because I have never lived
    • Art is not a money making industry
    • Art is a waste of time
    • Investing in learning art is throwing good money after bad
    • Investing in books on writing is stupid
    • Investing in books of any kind is a waste
    • Artist’s supplies are too expensive to invest in
    • Using a computer is a waste of time
    • Investing in technology is a waste of capital
    • If it is fun it cannot be otherwise rewarding
    • Nice cameras are a waste of money
    • Taking photographs is not art
    • Music is a waste of time
    • Musicians do not make money
    • The label of crazy person
    • The label of lazy person
  • Supports that have enabled me to explore my capabilities:
    • My marriage to Jeff
    • My raising of Alex
    • Richard encouraged me to sing
    • Being on disability and having time to explore my creativity
    • Working with my counselors
    • Buying my own tools
    • Using the library extensively
    • Credit cards
  • I can instill positive ideas in others so they are encouraged to be the best selves they can be by:
    • Allowing plenty of time for reading
    • Explaining that a person who works hard can be a successful writer
    • Encouraging writing
    • Teaching that all values and all experience levels are worthy of respect
    • Helping someone see that art can be a money making industry by teaching them about various forms and usages of art
    • Encouraging everyone to creatively express themselves
    • Sharing my knowledge with others
    • Creating in my life as an example to others of what can be done by anyone
    • Encouraging understanding rather than condemnation
    • Remembering to judge no one, but live in love
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