Marvelous…

Today was an amazing day. Sometimes I forget that God is so good to me because other things seem so out of control. I finally learned how to set my not so new now alarm clock and it woke me this morning. This was a good thing because all this time I have had this wonderfully annoying alarm and could not figure out how to set it. Now for at least awhile I have an alarm that will wake me, this will end my dependence on Mom to wake us up in the mornings.

 

I ate cereal, dressed and carried Alex to his job. He is working at a lawnmower repair shop. It is a good first job. Yesterday he touched a hot muffler and blistered his hand and I got upset that he was hurt, but he has to learn to take care of himself somewhere. I cannot always be there to protect him.

 

I went to the partial hospitalization program. I really missed this program while I was hospitalized because I had made some friends and the structure of the program is very good for me. Today I talked about my irrational thoughts and delusions. The counselors helped me come up with ways to reframe the thoughts so that they were not negative and now for the first time in years I feel like I have a way to deal with what has led to my hospitalization so many times. They said I should use affirmations like: I am a likeable person and have friends who care about me, I am a modern woman and a good person, and God loves me and I am saved by his grace. That last one is just a furtherance for the one before that I came up with on the spur of the moment here, but it relates to those delusions about being a terrible character out of the Bible. They also suggested that I use first, second, and third person saying the affirmations to help make them real for me. Also they suggested that I write them, say them, post them in prominent places, and record them to play back to myself. I am hoping that this will be effective.

 

Mom cooked hamburgers for supper and those were very good. I was glad she cooked so I did not have to do so. I am cooking again, not liking it, but I need to do it. Alex needs good food after working all day.

 

I played Bejeweled 2 a bit tonight. I did not do very well but it was relaxing. I had not done that in months. I also used Photoshop a little and did a small drawing I did not save. That program is wonderful. I cannot wait until I have some time to actually learn to use it. I have a feeling I can do miracles with that software.

 

Just wanted you all to know things are going better than yesterday. I did not write because I was in a mess last night. Every time I start into the negative thought patterns now I become afraid of going back in the hospital. It is very scary for me.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann

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  1. #1 by Sandi on June 22, 2005 - 8:05 am

    sounds like the partial staff are very good. your courage will see you through the rough times. courage doesn\’t mean doing it all on your own, you know. it includes treatment staff, meds, and friends. hang in there, chick. DC

  2. #2 by L on June 22, 2005 - 11:06 am

    I am glad that things are looking up. You sound a lot more positive. Keep smiling Jo!

  3. #3 by John on June 22, 2005 - 1:43 pm

    Glad to see that you are back and blogging again. :)You sound much more hopeful, HopefulJo!

  4. #4 by Sarah on June 23, 2005 - 1:44 pm

    It\’s so wonderful to hear that you are feeling better!I love to play Bejeweled 2, also!~Sarah

  5. #5 by dragonsbreathe on June 24, 2005 - 1:12 am

    first time visitor here…well i like it! I found all very interesting…and will be back often. Your a sweetheart from what i can tell…just be kind to yourself and everything else will fall into place…i liked to think that should work…i guess we both shall see…thanks for sharing

  6. #6 by barbara on June 24, 2005 - 12:44 pm

    You are indeed Hopeful, Jo! I hope you take the time to learn Photo Shop. I too love to use graphic programs and use Corel Photo Paint. I love it. Use your artistic talents.

  7. #7 by Reeking Havoc's Lair on June 24, 2005 - 10:31 pm

    The affirmations are true!

  8. #8 by Reeking Havoc's Lair on June 26, 2005 - 7:23 am

    Isn\’t it nice to feel like yourself again?

  9. #9 by PATRICIA on June 28, 2005 - 10:40 am

    Hello, I\’m Stoney, Jossie\’s son. My mother has requested that I post a note too all the peple who have dropped by. I\’m sorry that it is a quick and generic note but I have to get to work. (I am amazed at this place. My mother said it was wonderful and the people real and loyal but I scoffed until now. You are really good people) You shall get as many prayes as it will take along with my mother. Good luck! StoneyThank you all for stopping by and the nice words you have left. I am woking hard on being able to sit up so I can visit soon. Love and hugs to you all. Jossie

  10. #10 by SillyCrystalD on June 28, 2005 - 7:08 pm

    Glad things are looking better for you!! My thoughts are with ya honey!

  11. #11 by redvelvet on July 1, 2005 - 2:12 pm

    I hope you don\’t mind me posting this… I feel this is important & want to help spread the word… Did you know that EVERY SINGLE DAY 36,000 children die, NEEDLESSLY, of extreme poverty? And in Africa alone, 6,300 people die EVERY DAY from AIDS… AIDS is now a preventable treatable disease… all they need is a 25 cent pill that can keep them alive!!! I want to invite everyone to please take a minute & visit http://www.ONE.org & do your part by signing the petition that can make poverty history!!! You can sign the letter to President Bush by going to http://www.ONE.org or You can also find out more about LIVE8 & sign a petition at http://www.live8live.com/Please feel free to drop by Redvelvet\’s Underground & read more about this important issue… Thanks

  12. #12 by Reeking Havoc's Lair on July 2, 2005 - 5:41 am

    I stop by every other day, looking forward to your next postings…

  13. #13 by Amy on July 3, 2005 - 5:43 pm

    Hi Jo,I was just popping to see how you were and to say Have a great 4th of July!

  14. #14 by PATRICIA on July 4, 2005 - 11:04 am

    Good Morning Bloggers and Happy 4th of July! I promised that I would fly around spaces and leave a message for every one that I can in the two hours that I am here taking care of my mother. We are having two celebrations one small one here with my mom and then on to Great Grandmothers to celebrate her birthday and America’s Birthday. Have a Happy Canadian Day, (July 1st) to all the Canadians here at spaces. This is also the personal note from my mother. Have Firecracker Day! Stoney & Jossie

  15. #15 by Sassene on July 5, 2005 - 6:49 am

    Good Morning Joann,Hope that everything is going well with you. I hope that you have had a good 4th of July. Just to let you know that my prayers are with you. Take care,OXOXOX

  16. #16 by Megan on July 5, 2005 - 1:30 pm

    Hi Jo Ann! I came here by way of Sassene\’s and I wanted to say hi. I hope you continue to improve and that life just keeps on getting better. Much love! 🙂

  17. #17 by Adara on July 6, 2005 - 1:04 am

    Hey first time here, I am not sure why you are in treatment but just remember God is awesome and will be with you all the way through it~Jennifer

  18. #18 by Unknown on July 6, 2005 - 1:43 pm

    I am hoping that your email is having problems and not you. Please write me or better yet lets have lunch you pick the palce. Even if you just want to call me names, i will let you.

  19. #19 by Sassene on July 7, 2005 - 8:16 am

    Good Morning Joann,Hope everything is going alright with you, you are in my thoughts and prayers… Hang in there, girl for you are not alone…Love ya,OXOXOXOX

  20. #20 by SillyCrystalD on July 7, 2005 - 8:03 pm

    hey what\’s up? just checking in! 🙂

  21. #21 by Sassene on July 8, 2005 - 8:48 am

    Good Morning Joann,How are you today? I hope that you feel a bit better today. Have a great weekend..Miss you… Love ya,SasseneOXOXOX*sending angels your way*

  22. #22 by Reeking Havoc's Lair on July 8, 2005 - 8:20 pm

    Checking on my pal…Hope to see you here again…

  23. #23 by Sassene on July 11, 2005 - 1:26 pm

    Good Afternoon, sweetie,Hope all is well with you today. Hope your weekend went good. Miss you…Love ya!OXOXOX

  24. #24 by Red on July 12, 2005 - 3:55 am

    I haven\’t heard from you in awhile…was just checking to see how everything is going. Let me hear from you when you get a chance, okay?

  25. #25 by Reeking Havoc's Lair on July 13, 2005 - 6:20 pm

    Checking…

  26. #26 by Sarah on July 14, 2005 - 8:11 pm

    We are all concerned about you. I hope you are doing what is best for you. We will all be here when you get back!Sarah

  27. #27 by barbara on July 15, 2005 - 5:09 am

    I hope your absence is an indication that you are getting super help and getting your \’groove\’ back.You have lots of friends pulling for you.

  28. #28 by Sassene on July 15, 2005 - 5:24 am

    Good Morning Joann,Hoping you are doing alright. Miss ya. Have a great weekend…Love ya!OXOXOX♥~ Sassene ~♥

  29. #29 by Unknown on July 15, 2005 - 6:01 am

    I feel the pain you must be enduring. Remember that with God, all things are possible! Concentrate on all the people whose lives you impact everyday. You have my hopes and prayers.

  30. #30 by Zen on July 15, 2005 - 8:59 am

    Just checking in. 🙂

  31. #31 by Sandi on July 15, 2005 - 4:30 pm

    Just checking on you chick. Thoughts and best wishes your way.

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