Saturday, July 30, 2005

 

I have been out of the partial hospitalization program over a week now and I am doing well. I do miss going to the program, but it was getting less efficient for me as time wore on.

 

Alex goes back to school Monday, August 1… too early for a return to school in my opinion, but the powers that be have chosen. I believe that Georgia will soon go to year round organized daycare (school) because that seems to be what some people believe is best for youngsters. I disagree with the premise and am glad my one offspring will not be subject to such torment.

 

The start Alex’s senior year has me thinking how little time is left before he will be joining the Marines. I cannot seem to convince him that this is not a good time to consider military service and I am very afraid of what may happen when he joins up. I know this is still months away from that time, but I very much fear for the life of my only child.

 

I feel I am such a failure as a mother because I cannot financially provide opportunities for Alex so that the military does not seem the best option open to him. God knows I would give everything to keep him safe.

 

I read an excellent collection of novellas entitled Transgressions edited by Ed McBain. Ten outstanding writers contributed stories of crime, mystery, and suspense. I enjoyed reading this form from familiar names. Check it out if you have some time for a good read.

 

I applied for a part time cashier position at K-Mart and evidently will be starting work this week. I hope to find a better opportunity, but with my not working since 1993 I figure I have to start somewhere and I definitely need the money. My financial situation continues to deteriorate. I wish I had never made the decisions I did while I was so ill. I feel a total idiot for getting myself into such a mess.

 

Hopefully things will improve. I must believe so or be overwhelmed by sorrow. I choose not to be overcome and believe that somehow my problems can be turned to good.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann

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  1. #1 by Reeking Havoc's Lair on July 30, 2005 - 7:56 pm

    Here\’s a link to the blogpage of a Marine mom…a good page…she might have an empathetic or reassuring word to offer…

  2. #2 by Sarah on July 31, 2005 - 5:35 am

    Glad to know you\’re okay. You\’re not a failure.. such is life.. You give your son your love.. that\’s the most important thing in the world. *hugs*

  3. #3 by Kenny on July 31, 2005 - 7:35 am

    JoAnn, I wonder do you realise how good it was to see your post in my space? I am thrilled & very happy indeed. Regarding Alex, you are doing the best you can under the circumstances & nobody can ask more than that. Be proud of yourself, things have a habit of working out & I agree with Nimmy. Please be happy & stay well.Take CareKenny

  4. #4 by Sandi on July 31, 2005 - 8:56 am

    Welcome back, woman. I sometimes fall into the trap myself of thinking I have not done enough for my two sons, and how I wish they would follow a path I think more healthy or productive. The truth is we raise them and love them as best we can, and when they become adults (or very near adults), they make their own choices. Child rearing is a LONG TERM INVESTMENT… sometimes we don\’t see the true fruits of our labors until much much later. I agree with nimmykins – you have given your love, and what greater gift is there? Take it easy, chick. You\’re doing just fine.

  5. #5 by Sarah on July 31, 2005 - 10:16 am

    Congrats on the job. Don\’t keep beating yourself up about what happened when you were sick. You are doing the best you can. Somethimes you have to just put that behind you and start moving in the right direction from this point. You are doing a great job!

  6. #6 by barbara on July 31, 2005 - 10:35 am

    Welcome back Jo Ann. It is good to see you writing again.

  7. #7 by PATRICIA on July 31, 2005 - 10:37 am

    Hope you are ok, it looks like it has been awhile since you have posted. Quick note from Jossie: I will be down for many weeks to come. My son Stoney will be blogging for me from time to time. I will miss you all very much. A friend will come and read all my messages to me in the morning (fix me a great cup of joe) take the dog for her walk. So I hope to be hearing from you regularly. PS please visit my friend Sage Crystal and the other two people in my Welcome Wagon. They are waiting for you. Thanks for taking the time!(((((((((((((Big group hug)))))))))))))))for Jossie by Stoney – good day to you all!

  8. #8 by Stephen on July 31, 2005 - 7:37 pm

    JoAnn -As usual, you\’re being rather rough on yourself and things you can\’t control in life. You didn\’t choose to get ill – it picked you. I tell myself that when things go array and all screwed up. I didn\’t have a wish to be born with Bipolar, neither did you. Would you be so hard on yourself if you had cancer ?? I didn\’t think so. Stay a sweetheart, I for one am proud of you!-Stephen

  9. #9 by Unknown on July 31, 2005 - 8:57 pm

    Hi Jo Ann,Good to hear from you! I sure hope that all works out better for you in the coming months. Don\’t feel like your financial situation is the only reason Alex want to join the Corp. Dax. my youngest son, had pretty much total financial security and he decided that he was destined to join the Corp. Maybe its that way wiht Alex. Besides, who knows what the future will bring.And from what I read when Alex was writing in your blog you have no reason to feel like a failure as a mother – to me it looks like you must have did a lot more right then wrong in raising such a fine young man!Rockhttp://www.rskphotography.com/photoblog/

  10. #10 by Melissa on August 1, 2005 - 2:45 pm

    Hey Jo! Thanks for stoppin by! I haven\’t seen you in awhile. I hope you are doin wellHUGGZmelissa

  11. #11 by Shasta Explorer on August 2, 2005 - 12:44 am

    Congratualtions on the job and don\’t worry too much about your son. (I know it\’s unavoidable) He will be okay and so will you… Glad to see you back!

  12. #12 by WonderingJew on August 4, 2005 - 3:34 am

    It\’s good to see you\’re doing well, Jo. My prayers are for you daily.:-)

  13. #13 by Kenny on August 5, 2005 - 10:49 am

    Checkin\’ in on you, hope all is well JoAnn. Take Care, because we do (about you)

  14. #14 by redvelvet on August 6, 2005 - 3:23 pm

    Just flying by to send some love your way… it\’s "Spread the Love" Day on Spaces Blvd!!!

  15. #15 by Adrian on August 7, 2005 - 9:42 am

    Great space 🙂 Hope you find what you\’re searching for! God\’s peace!Adrian

  16. #16 by Kenny on August 9, 2005 - 7:21 am

    Sooner or later you will come back – even if only just to look. Hope you are smiling, you aren\’t forgotten JoAnn! Kenny

  17. #17 by Patrick on August 12, 2005 - 3:28 pm

    How\’s the job going?

  18. #18 by Kenny on August 13, 2005 - 9:52 am

    good – be well – be happy

  19. #19 by PATRICIA on August 13, 2005 - 11:49 am

    Thank you for stopping by and leaving me such a nice message. I hope all is well with you and please come back and chat! Hugs Jossie

  20. #20 by Zen on August 14, 2005 - 10:25 am

    You seem to be doing fine. It\’s always worse looking out, than looking. Either way, keeping looking up, as you normally do.

  21. #21 by SillyCrystalD on August 15, 2005 - 9:38 pm

    hey! glad to hear things are starting to get better for you. i hope your new job is enjoyable…I worked at Kmart for 10 months once…it was pretty nice:) cashering was my favorite too! depending on your city you might have lots of down time though…when you just straighten candy:( lol… talk to you later! always a joy reading your site…later!!Crystal

  22. #22 by Kenny on August 16, 2005 - 4:51 am

    Good to see you aound again ! *HUGE GRIN*

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