Archive for August, 2005

A New Poem…

 

The Very Heart Of Me

 

They tell me you are bad

That you are a thief;

You admit you don’t play fair,

And I know you have stolen

The very heart of me.

 

I hang on your every word,

Hungering for a moment

Which we can spend together;

All I have are memories

And electronic text to sustain me.

 

They urge me to forget you,

But I am always remembering.

You are a part of me

I can not let go, you belong

At the very heart of me.

 

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Thursday, August 18, 2005

12 Comments

Life Today…

 

I am staying quite busy. My part-time job is nerve-wracking, but going okay. Being in public after so many years of staying home makes me nervous. The scanning devices and computerized registers are so different from when I ran a register before. I am getting used to it as time goes by.

 

Alex is taking ROTC this year. It was not offered in his school until this semester. It is one more step toward the military career he wants. He is really enthused with the course.

 

Today I had to take Alex to the doctor because he has a sore throat, cough, runny nose, and generally just feels cruddy. The doctor wrote some prescriptions and sent us on our way. He did not even give me a diagnosis, so I guess it was not that serious.

 

Gas prices keep going up here and I wonder if having a job is really going to net me any money. I finally talked to a lawyer yesterday about starting bankruptcy proceedings. He no longer does bankruptcy so he is going to talk to another lawyer about taking my case. I don’t have the money to pay for all the fees initially so he was going to see if this lawyer would take installments. I hope that works out because I would like my lawyer’s referral better than a complete stranger.

 

I read Lord Bryon’s Novel The Evening Land by John Crowley. This was a very good book, but I did not like it quite as much as his previous novel Little, Big. The idea that Byron might have written something like this is appealing though.

 

I am having some problems with crying and depression. Crying mostly whenever I consider Alex going in the Marines or when I hear of something sad. Depression just seems the cycle I am in now. My hope for the future is at low ebb. I am considering discussing it with my doctor because I was taking an anti-depressant before and it kept me from reacting so strongly to random events. Maybe he would put me back on my Zoloft or something similar.

 

My writing is non-existent right now. I do not seem to have the inspiration to write anything. Even writing this is taking a long time because I have no idea what to say. I wish I could revert to the days when making these entries was effortless, but I even seem to have lost touch with those.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann

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