Archive for September, 2005
I am doing fine, just staying busy. Last week I had three days off but those were frantic with errands and appointments. I guess I should try to write more, but somehow rest seems more important.
I had a fast change artist try to take me for twenty dollars at work, but I knew I gave him correct change so he did not get by with his act.
I ordered Alex’s cap and gown and a few invitations to his graduation. The cost of that amazed me. It is a good thing I am working.
I find myself wishing I had never purchased the Jeep. It does not get as good gas mileage as the Eclipse did and the payments are very high. If I did not have the Jeep I would not have to work at K-Mart. I am worried that I may not be able to afford the Jeep after Alex leaves next May.
I met with the supportive employment person Friday and filled out paperwork for that program. I really do not know what they can do for me, but hopefully with their help I will find a better job. One with hours that are more regular and accommodate my being home in the evening and that also pays better than part-time at K-Mart.
I have not been feeling very creative. Seems like there is not enough time for such luxury in my days right now. I am a person who has to have time to create, it is not fast work for me. I miss the times when I could sit here at the computer for hours without worrying about everything else I should be doing at the time. Now computer time is a rare thing. Some days I don’t even turn the machine on at all.
I’m dreaming of unfettered days
When you are the only person
On my schedule and my only task
Is to give you unending pleasure.
I’m dreaming of moments when
Kisses are the most important thing
That I have on my to do list
And you are my only customer.
I’m dreaming of a time that
We can spend more than a few hours
In one another’s company
Without worry of repercussions.
I’m dreaming of truly being yours
Basking in the pleasure of our love
With no need of secrecy or deception
Because we can live our truth.
I’m dreaming of you and I
Joined in a love that has stood
The test of time and adversity
And still leaves us breathless with longing.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, September 26, 2005
Well that is all I have to say right now. I have to go to work in a little while and should probably get something to eat before I go. Hope all is well where you are and that you have wonderful days.
I am working over thirty hours a week and staying busy on my off time with chores or trying to rest. I did not expect a job to take up so much of my time. I guess I had forgotten what it is like to be in the workaday world. I am not sure I like the change. My hours are eliminating my time with Alex and I do not like that at all.
The only upside to working is the money, but now that gas prices have skyrocketed there is not so much money being made. Part-time work at an entry level wage just covers transportation costs with a little left over.
I signed my petition for bankruptcy yesterday afternoon and it was filed electronically. I am not happy that I had to do this, but it was the only way I could see out of a truly terrible situation. I hope to reaffirm the debt on the Jeep so that I get to keep it.
Today I received a call from the company I was seeking supportive employment through. I am to meet with one of their representatives Tuesday just to get acquainted. Hopefully they will be able to help me find a job that has a better schedule and possibly better pay.
Alex has all next week off from school, but my schedule is such that I will have very little time with him. I wish I had known in advance that he was to have the week off. I would have asked for some off days to spend with him.
We got a new dog, but the people who gave her to us decided after a week that they wanted her back so we do not have her anymore. Maybe it is for the best because I did not have much time to spend with her anyway.
There are so many moments
I wish to spend with you
But life intervenes
Leaving only very little time
For stolen minutes alone.
You are my guilty pleasure
The one I hide
Just to keep the peace…
I wish I could revel in our love
But am disallowed by others dear.
Maybe I will grow brave
Enough to stand the censure
Of disapproving relatives,
Until then you are my secret
The one that makes me smile.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Friday, September 2, 2005
I hope my blog gets no more attention than usual from Alex. He is my main critic in relationship issues these days.