Things have been quite busy since I last posted an entry here. I had appointments every day for one week and several days of the next one. I had my MRI and sonogram, should get the results of both early this coming week.
My counselor of several years has moved into another practice and so I cannot see her anymore. I had been seeing her pro bono. Now I will have to pay the new counselor I will be seeing and I honestly don’t think I can afford it. I may only see her every three months. This will be quite a change for me as I was seeing my counselor bi-weekly or at least monthly. I hope it will work out okay.
I did get my taxes done and filed electronically and I have already gotten the refunds. I had to use part of the money for a new all-in-one because the red print head had gone out on mine. Even after I replaced the print cartridge, it would not work.
Last Sunday I saw my love again. We spent all day together. It was very sweet. He cooked lunch for me and it was absolutely delicious. He laid out the ground rules for living in his house, which I took to mean he is thinking of me moving back as a permanent part of his life. This makes me very happy.
When I got home, Mom told me that James knows I am seeing Jeff. He has known for a month or so. He is waiting for Alex to leave before he does something about it. I emailed Jeff to let him know but he has been out of town this week. We are not getting to communicate much because he does not have internet access. He did get my email belatedly and will be thinking about what it means for us. He won’t be back in town until February 27th or later.
I finished reading Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson, which was a very good historical novel. I began reading the second book in the Baroque Cycle called The Confusion. The only bad thing about these books is that they are extremely long.
I took time to read Recovered, not cured by Richard McLean. This book about Schizophrenia by a Schizophrenic was very good. I have experienced some of the things that were written about in the book. I think for someone wanting to learn about the experience of suffering with Schizophrenia that this would be a good book to give some insight.
Alex will be going in the Marines on June 6th. He decided not to postpone his entry because he might lose his slot as a MP. I am not looking forward to his leaving so soon after he graduates, but I have no control over the situation.
I hope that I can tell Alex about my seeing Jeff and that he will accept it. He loved Jeff as if he were his Dad at one point, but he despises him now. I would be so pleased if he could look at the situation as one that makes me happy and be understanding.
Alex’s father called last night and talked to me a rather long time. It was interesting at the end because he wanted to know how I felt about him. He wants me to come visit him. I told him that was not possible.
I have this thing where all my exes still care about me. I don’t really understand it, but I guess it stems from the fact I have never hated them. In some way, there has always been a lot of love left for them.
I am looking forward to the next time I see my love, Jeff.