Catching Up…

Things have been quite busy since I last posted an entry here. I had appointments every day for one week and several days of the next one. I had my MRI and sonogram, should get the results of both early this coming week.

 

My counselor of several years has moved into another practice and so I cannot see her anymore. I had been seeing her pro bono. Now I will have to pay the new counselor I will be seeing and I honestly don’t think I can afford it. I may only see her every three months. This will be quite a change for me as I was seeing my counselor bi-weekly or at least monthly. I hope it will work out okay.

 

I did get my taxes done and filed electronically and I have already gotten the refunds. I had to use part of the money for a new all-in-one because the red print head had gone out on mine. Even after I replaced the print cartridge, it would not work.

 

Last Sunday I saw my love again. We spent all day together. It was very sweet. He cooked lunch for me and it was absolutely delicious. He laid out the ground rules for living in his house, which I took to mean he is thinking of me moving back as a permanent part of his life. This makes me very happy.

 

When I got home, Mom told me that James knows I am seeing Jeff. He has known for a month or so. He is waiting for Alex to leave before he does something about it. I emailed Jeff to let him know but he has been out of town this week. We are not getting to communicate much because he does not have internet access. He did get my email belatedly and will be thinking about what it means for us. He won’t be back in town until February 27th or later.

 

I finished reading Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson, which was a very good historical novel. I began reading the second book in the Baroque Cycle called The Confusion. The only bad thing about these books is that they are extremely long.

 

I took time to read Recovered, not cured by Richard McLean. This book about Schizophrenia by a Schizophrenic was very good. I have experienced some of the things that were written about in the book. I think for someone wanting to learn about the experience of suffering with Schizophrenia that this would be a good book to give some insight.

 

Alex will be going in the Marines on June 6th. He decided not to postpone his entry because he might lose his slot as a MP. I am not looking forward to his leaving so soon after he graduates, but I have no control over the situation.

 

I hope that I can tell Alex about my seeing Jeff and that he will accept it. He loved Jeff as if he were his Dad at one point, but he despises him now. I would be so pleased if he could look at the situation as one that makes me happy and be understanding.

 

Alex’s father called last night and talked to me a rather long time. It was interesting at the end because he wanted to know how I felt about him. He wants me to come visit him. I told him that was not possible.

 

I have this thing where all my exes still care about me. I don’t really understand it, but I guess it stems from the fact I have never hated them. In some way, there has always been a lot of love left for them.

 

I am looking forward to the next time I see my love, Jeff.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann

 

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  1. #1 by Shari on February 19, 2006 - 11:49 pm

    Hey – sounds like things are going pretty good. Just make sure you take care of yourself with your love…. It sounds like he has some issues… And, history being cyclic, it may come back to haunt you.

  2. #2 by Jo Ann on February 20, 2006 - 2:34 pm

    Things are going okay. I am trying to be careful with Jeff. I don\’t want something like happened in the past to happen again. He has changed a lot in the last year. When his daughter died of cancer last February it made a huge impression on him. He is more caring and understanding now than he was before. He has grown a lot. I think I can trust him to act more humanely now than he did in the past. Letting his temper overcome his good judgement was his main problem, and I think he is more willing to take his time now and think out even situations where there are high emotions involved.
     
    I know it is a gamble to be in a relationship with him, but I love him and am willing to take a chance.
     
    Smiles,
    Jo Ann

  3. #3 by Sugar on February 22, 2006 - 12:10 pm

    Hey Jo Ann…  glad to hear things are going well…  was starting to wonder where you went 😉
     
    Take care…

  4. #4 by Stephen on February 24, 2006 - 5:02 pm

    JoAnn –
     
    Alex is a grown man at this point, if he accepts your love is not your issue but his. He should be more concerned that you\’re happy and healthy and nothing else. After all, you\’re seeing this man, not Alex, so it really doesn\’t matter. I can relate as I detest my step-mother, but as long as my Dad is happy, that\’s all I ever want or would want. Live for yourself and not everyone else, you\’ll be a happier woman for it. 🙂
     
    Most Warmly –
    Stephen

  5. #5 by Lynn on February 24, 2006 - 7:28 pm

    Hi Jo Ann:  Thank you so much for your kind comments on my site.  I have enjoyed reading about your life and love, your ups and downs.  Its very nice of you to share that part with us.  I wish your son all the luck in the world on his Marine adventure, and like you, I hope they let him have his summer off.  Peace,
    Lynn

  6. #6 by bren on February 27, 2006 - 12:32 pm

    Trust your senses JoAnn — your intuition will never let you down — only if you ignore it.
    Be well

  7. #7 by Melissa on March 1, 2006 - 3:38 pm

    I went through the same with having to change counselors…….I HATED that. Yu finally have someone that you are comfortable talking with and they chuck you in with a total stranger.I\’m gonna check out the book on S that you mentiones. A very dear person to me shows textbook symptoms…….You take care girl…M~0

  8. #8 by Shari on March 6, 2006 - 2:42 am

    I hope you are doing well, as you haven\’t been blogging lately…. I hope no issues are keeping you from it, except maybe the wonderful creative flow of words or images….. Later!

  9. #9 by Lynn on March 6, 2006 - 4:57 pm

    Just stopped by to see if you wrote anything.  Hope all is well with you.  I so enjoy reading the things you write.  Lynn

  10. #10 by Jo Ann on March 8, 2006 - 9:42 pm

    Kimberly, I am just staying really busy. Seems like there is always something going on.
     
    Stephen, I wish Alex could accept Jeff. He really is hard on me though about all kinds of things. I have to live my life and try to enjoy happiness wherever I can find it. Jeff makes me very happy and it is unfortunate Alex does not like him, but he is living his life and I have to live my own.
     
    Lynn, I am glad you enjoy reading my posts. As far as Alex and the Marines go, he has to go in on June 6th. He won\’t have the summer and he will be in basic during the hottest part of the year. I wish him all the luck in the world in this adventure. It is going to be very hard for me to see him go.
     
    Junquedejour, I am trying to rely on my intuition and I feel that being with Jeff is safe, but time will tell.
     
    Melissa, having to switch counselors really sucks, but when you have long term problems it happens once in a while. I don\’t know how much I am going to like this newest one, but she gets a chance at least. The book on Schizophrenia is very good. It might give you some insight into your loved ones condition.
     
    Sharbear, I have just been busy and not feeling very creative. Blogging takes a lot of something I just lack at times. I am sorry I missed having something new up for you to read.
     
    Lynn, thanks for stopping by again… I posted something tonight.
     
    Smiles,
    Jo Ann

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