Thoughtful Thursday

 

I woke up at 7:15 with Hope licking my face. I am glad I wake up early these days.

 

Mom was charging the battery on her stimulator implant when I came to the kitchen. It takes about an hour to charge it once a week. I suggested that she charge it while she plays games on the computer to make the time less boring. That works well for her. She did not sleep much last night because her arthritis in her shoulder was hurting. I had hoped the Mobic would help with it, but evidently, it did not help enough. I gave her some Zanaflex, which is for cramps, hoping that would help today. It seemed to ease the pain a little.

 

When Mom finished charging she called James and told him the fridge was icing up again. She asked if she should get the part for it and he said yes. About 8:15 I called Sears Parts and ordered a defrost heater for the Magic Chef refrigerator. I do not recommend this brand because this refrigerator was only purchased on December 5, 2005 and it has gone bad. The part with shipping was $42.36. That means Mom has spent over $100.00 on the thing and it is not fixed yet. My niece, Leigh, is going to come put the part in over the weekend. She thinks she can do it even though she has not worked on a fridge before.

 

We had pork chops and turnip greens for lunch. They were delicious. Mom is such a good cook.

 

Hope has been good today. She has started to bother Penny a few times, but when we pointed at her and told her to leave Penny alone she has stopped. She got the DVD of Alex’s Marine Corps Graduation and left bite marks on the package.

 

I read about passion in Coaching the Artist Within by Eric Maisel. I seem to have developed a passion for writing in this blog daily once again. I hope it continues. I feel my day is incomplete until I have written here. I want to develop passion to create poems, stories, and art. These are the things I truly want to do. I still have some resistance to beginning new creations. I am such a perfectionist that I do not allow myself the necessary creative license to produce without judgment. I am blocked by my need to create perfectly. I must allow myself room to create without being afraid of failure. I must be passionate about creating even if what I do is not very good. Better that I do something than have nothing to show for the passing of my days. I lack inspiration to start things. My ideas are stagnant. I do not know what I should write about or what I should draw or paint. My imagination is not feeding me anything. Maybe my life is so ordinary that there is nothing to draw on. My days are definitely not interesting.

 

I hope Alex is okay. I did not get the opportunity to chat with him today. He never came online. It is really going to be hard when he goes to Iraq and I do not hear from him for weeks.

 

Mom said I should go see my ophthalmologist because at times I am not seeing well. I have not had my eyes examined in at least three years; it may have been four. I cannot afford a new pair of contacts so I have put off going. My contacts cost around $400.00 because they are bi-toric gas permeable hard lenses. Mom says she is going to try to work out a deal where I can make payments.  Medicare will cover my exam except for thirty dollars. I cannot even afford that this month. I have to pay back my rainy day money and my car insurance is due. The car insurance is $109.00 and I may have to use rainy day money to pay it. No fun. It is hard being poor monetarily. I am rich in so many other ways that I must count myself fortunate anyway.

 

I am grateful my niece, Leigh, is my friend.

I am grateful I have clothes to wear.

I am grateful I have a wonderful son in Alex.

I am grateful my mother is alive.

I am grateful my brother, James, cares for me.

I am grateful there is music.

I am grateful I can still learn.

I am grateful I have a car.

I am grateful I wrote a poem yesterday.

I am grateful Hope loves me.

 

I list things I am grateful for to remind myself how good my life really is. Things could be so much worse.

 

I hope to write something creative and post it here tomorrow. Maybe I will use one of the prompts from the books I made.

 

I hope all is well with each of you.

 

Always,

Jo Ann Wink

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  1. #1 by Stephen on October 5, 2007 - 2:16 pm

    I\’m glad you can find things to be grateful for, I\’m stuck in a bit of a rutt at the moment. But what goes down usually goes back up. At least in bipolar circles. 🙂

  2. #2 by Jo Ann on October 5, 2007 - 4:44 pm

    Hi Stephen,
     
    I used to do a gratitude journal where I had to come up with ten things I was grateful for every day. That can be hard, but an occasional list is not so bad.
     
    I hope you get out of your rut. I know what that feels like too. The bi-polar aspect of my Schizoaffective Disorder is doing pretty good right now. My meds seem to be working very well. I get down but not too far and my ups are controlled. I am happy as things are.
     
    Take care,
    Jo Ann

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