Where I Go On and On…

 

Alex came online after I had posted my entry last night and we chatted a few minutes. He is doing well. Things are still messed up in the shop so I am not sure how that is going to work out with inspection coming up. He is so happy to be a Marine. I am glad he has found his bliss. Normally I would not think of the military as being bliss, but it is for Alex. He loves it so much. I hope he still feels that way after his deployment to Iraq in February 2008. I have a feeling being in a war zone can be very hard on concepts of bliss.

 

Mom called me at 6:20 this morning and Hope and I got out of bed. I quickly got dressed, got a drink, and took my medication. I encouraged Mom to go ahead and take her early morning medicine because it helps keep her from getting nauseous. She could not find it in the truck where she had put it the night before and had to make two trips out there because she brought the wrong bag in the first time. When she had taken the medicine, we left. She was afraid we were going to be late because we were to be at the meeting place by 7:00. We made it with a few minutes to spare. She is traveling with my cousins to the reunion. I did not want to go because so many of the people who would be there are like strangers to me. Mom took pictures, chairs, and several bags. She looked like she was going to be gone a week instead of one day.

 

I came home and ate some pound cake. I let Hope loose and had to tie her back up because she would not leave Penny alone. I did not keep her tied long. I held her and tried to give her enough attention that she would not have to attack Penny to gain my attention.

 

I finally made my first post to JournalWriting@yahoogroups.com . I have been reading the digest postings from this group for a very long time. I decided it was time I came out of lurking and joined in. This is a very supportive group and I enjoy it a great deal. Being a part of it will add to my days. I have made several entries today in response to others in the group.

 

I wrote a response to one of my journal prompts in a blank book and then posted it here. I guess it can be called creative writing. I would rather write a poem, but the inspiration does not seem to be with me.

 

I ate leftover fish and hushpuppies for lunch. They were very good.

 

Hope and I rode up to the mailbox and collected the mail. Hope loves to ride in the car. When I say I am going to get the mail she gets very excited and jumps up and down until I take her in my arms.

 

I should probably vacuum today, but I want to take it easy. I will vacuum tomorrow.

 

I threw out the rotten tomatoes. We just have not been able to eat as many as the garden produces, but soon there will be no more coming off. The collards are growing well. Mom is an excellent gardener. I am not interested in the outside type things.

 

I am listening to my iPod in the Bose SoundDock. I should have had it on most of the day, but only thought of it around 4:30. I love music, but I do not make it a consistent part of my life. I like to take the iPod with me when I drive alone and listen to it in the car because my radio does not work very well. I do not like radio anyway. It is probably against the law to wear the ear buds while driving, but I keep the volume low enough I can still hear outside noise. I also listen to the iPod when I work outside. It makes picking up rocks go faster. I have 20GB of music on my iPod, but have not loaded all my CDs onto it. I just have not gotten around to copying all the music to iTunes. It is not a process I enjoy.

 

My refrigerator is cooling at 40 degrees, but it is icing up in the freezer. I hope the part comes quickly because I do not think it will work well for much longer. I have not transferred my food back from Mom’s refrigerator. I will do that when the darn thing is fixed. I really think Magic Chef sucks as a brand. No refrigerator should go bad before it is two years old. The part we need is on backorder so there must be many units with the same problem mine has.

 

I tied Hope up again because I could not convince her to leave Penny alone. She has been loose a good part of the day. I hope I do not seem cruel because I tie her up. There just seems to be no other solution for her gnawing on Penny’s ears. Penny was here first and I cannot allow her to be hurt. I love Hope dearly, but she must behave somehow.

 

I had a bologna, cheese, and tomato sandwich for supper. I will miss the tomatoes when the garden stops producing. The tomatoes from the store just are not as good as homegrown.

 

We are having such wonderful weather here in Georgia. The nights are cool and the days are not too hot. We are still running the air conditioner, but it is not on nearly as much as it was a month ago. The sky is beautiful today, but we desperately need rain as we are in the middle of a terrible drought.

 

I am so disappointed that our government does not care enough about children to override Bush’s veto of the health care bill. I am glad Alex is grown. He was on PeachCare when he was growing up or he would not have had insurance. I could not have afforded health care for him without the program. There are so many families who struggle just to make ends meet and without government programs their children go without preventative care and even urgent care. I think this president is heartless and am so glad his days in office are numbered. He will not bring our troops home from a hopeless war and he will not grant our children necessary care. He is a disgrace to our country. Thank God, he cannot be reelected. Another term of Bush and America might no longer survive.

 

My brother, James, is waiting for a call to go to the hospital for surgery. They have determined that he does have some cancer, but are trying to determine where all it may have spread before they do surgery. I am very worried. My brother helps take care of Mom and I. We will have a very hard time without him. He is a survivor, so I hope he has what it takes to survive this onslaught. Even though he is very harsh with me at times, I love him very much. He has always been my hero and heroes are not supposed to die young. Fifty-eight is too young to face the possibility of demise.

 

My family means so much to me. They have always been supportive when I have had problems. Three divorces and Schizoaffective Disorder have been trials for them as well as for me. I am doing well now, but I know if I have problems, I can depend on my family to be there for me. So many people with mental illness do not have family on which they can depend. Having my family has made such a difference in my quality of life. I probably would have been institutionalized years ago if not for my family. I know I could not have raised Alex to be the fine young man he is without their help.

 

I have discussed this before, but some may not be aware. Mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease about eight years ago. She had symptoms for a while before that. She is doing really well. I think that this is due to the fact she has an excellent neurologist and is on innovative medications. She has mini-strokes so she cannot drive and that is a great disappointment to her because she has a lot she wants to go and do. I try to make sure she gets where she wants to go. She has some tremors in her hands, but it is controlled enough that she can paint figurines. When she gets upset or over-exerts her lips tremble a lot. She has some memory problems related to the Parkinson’s, it might even be called mild dementia, but she is very functional. She is taking Sinemet and Mirapex, which are Parkinson’s medications. She takes Aggrenox, which is a blood thinner to help with the mini-strokes. She takes Namenda and Aricept, which are for memory. These drugs are specifically related to her Parkinson’s disease. She is also on many other drugs for other conditions. The drugs are very expensive and during the Medicare coverage gap, she routinely spends $1200.00 a month on medication, which is more than her monthly income. However, the treatment is keeping her active and with a good quality of life. A good doctor and aggressive drug therapy are essential for a good outcome with Parkinson’s.

 

My Mom is a blessing. She helps me in so many ways. She does more at seventy-eight-years-old than some people do in their youth. She is a truly special individual. I am so glad she is my Mom.

 

Well, I think I have run on enough for one day.

 

I hope you are having a good weekend.

 

Always,

Jo Ann Wink

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