Creative Journal – Entry Nineteen – “Enough”
Friday, October 30, 2009
Other than money, I have enough or almost everything. It would be nice to have more money, enough to pay off my debt to my Mom. If I had enough money I could have regular dental appointments and buy contacts more often than once every five years for contacts that are only designed to last a year.
I have enough clothes, although if I continue losing weight I may need some smaller clothes. I will try to wear what I have as long as I can. I am fortunate to have enough food every day. I do not have to go without meals. I have more than enough books, but I still like to buy a new one occasionally. Books are something to which I am addicted. I have more than enough ink pens. I have been collecting pens for years. I love beautiful stylish pens. I have more than enough blank books. I collect journals and sketch books. I rarely use any of these books so they take up space on the shelves in my room. I have enough greeting cards and blank note cards to open a shop. I collect these too, and I do not send as many cards as I once did. I did not get enough response from sending cards to encourage me to continue. I have enough rubber stamps. There is a long tote full of them under my bed. I rarely use them because I do not have enough room to get them out from storage. I have enough CD’s, but occasionally I like to add to my collection. I have almost forty gigabytes of music on my iPod, all copied from CDs.
I do not have enough patience. I can get irritated when things do not go as I would like. I would love to develop enough patience. I need more control over my voice. Sometimes when I do not mean any harm, my mother says I am yelling at her. I need enough awareness to modulate my volume before I upset my Mom. She has had enough of my yelling at her and is threatening to stop letting me do anything for her. I do not mean to yell, I love her enough I never want to yell at her. Her reaction is enough to upset me a great deal.
I wish I had enough time to do all the reading I would like to do. I lack enough time to write as much as I would like. I do not have enough inspiration to write very creatively. I do not have enough dedication to accomplish all I would like with my writing. I am afraid to submit my writing for publication because I do not think it is good enough to convince someone to publish it.
I do not have enough self-confidence and self-esteem. I have tried to develop these qualities, but I have enough unpleasantness in my past to undermine my efforts. I do not have enough friends, because I am afraid to approach new people. I do not feel comfortable around strangers.
I have enough love to share with my friends and family. I try to give enough encouragement to others that it makes a difference in their lives.
I think I have written enough for now.