Archive for November, 2009

Power

Creative Journal – Entry Twenty-six – Power

Friday, November 06, 2009

 

My power is very limited. I am responsible for myself and for helping my Mom. I have some power over Hope, but I do not think she actually thinks of me as the pack leader. She believes she can do as she desires. I no longer have any power over Alex. He still asks me to do things for him on occasion, but he does not always heed my advice. He has power over his own life within the confines of the Marine Corps. He cannot do everything as he pleases.

 

I do have power over my finances, but there is not much money to manage. I have to be very careful to avoid running out of money every month. I really do not mind being constrained financially, it has taught me to appreciate what I have more than I did in the past. Gratitude gives me power to be satisfied with my life. I have the power to choose my attitude every day, and most often, I choose to be happy. There are things that disturb my sense of peace, but I have the power to change my feelings. I have power over my own mind. No one else can dictate my thoughts. I have the power to write creatively and do artistic things. No one else has my ideas and that gives me some power.

 

I have power over what goes on here when my Mom is away. I am left in charge of everything here including all three of our dogs. Because I do most of the chores here, I have some power over what goes on here.

 

Power is not something that interests me much. I do not desire power over others. I am only concerned about having power over myself. As long as I am able to take care of myself, I will feel empowered.

 

Always,
Jo Ann

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Thankful Thursday (On Friday)

I am thankful…

 

1.     I was able to save some money the last two months.

 

2.    I saw that Wal-Mart had over-charged Mom and I for our Diet Cokes and we went and got a refund.

 

3.    I found the PAD Chapbook Challenge.

 

4.    The DIRECTV technician fixed the problem with our system. A frayed cable can cause many problems.

 

5.    Mom has stayed home this week.

 

6.    Ko-Ko’s surgery went well and she is more herself this morning.

 

7.    I am writing every day.

 

8.    I have read many books lately and that I found an Anne Rice novel at the library Tuesday.

 

9.    My printer is working.

 

10.  Jeremy is going to let Mom buy another storage building.

 

11.  Alex emailed me yesterday.

 

12.  Our electric bill is a lot lower than it was during the summer.

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Late

Creative Journal – Entry Twenty-five – Late

Thursday, November 05, 2009

 

I am late getting this entry done, because I have been procrastinating about it all day. I have not felt my best today, but really, that is no excuse for putting this off. I was up at 7:00 this morning because we had to take Ko-Ko to the vet to be spayed. She had to be dropped off between 8:00am and 9:00am. She became six months old on the first and the vet recommended the procedure be done near that time. Once we had her settled at the vet, we went to IHOP for breakfast. Mom bought mine and it was very good. I had chocolate chip pancakes with my breakfast combo. We went to Sam’s Club to pick up our medication. Mom bought some pizzas, apples, and sock animals as well as her prescription. I paid for my four prescriptions. I had not expected all of them to be filled, but was thankful that they were. We went to Wal-Mart and got the money they overcharged us for Diet Cokes on Tuesday. They did not want to do the refund, but I was not leaving without our money. Then I picked up two packages of Northern. We came back home and I finished reading Angel Time by Anne Rice. This is an excellent book. The storytelling is fantastic. Anne Rice is one of my favorite authors and she did an outstanding job with this book. It is about a killer who becomes involved with angels. It is set in both the present and the thirteenth century. I highly recommend it. Jeremy called and we told him about the storage building we had found yesterday. He says he will go look at it Saturday and perhaps Mom will be able to buy it. We picked Ko-Ko up from the vet at about 4:30. She was very subdued. She grunted and lay still as we drove home. She spent the evening curled up in Mom’s lap mostly. She had not eaten today so I fixed some Moist & Meaty for her. This was a special treat. She ate it even though her mouth was tender because the vet removed two baby teeth that had not come out yet. I started a new book.

 

I thought I might skip writing an entry today because it was growing late, but I realized it would not be good to break my pattern of journaling every day. I want to stay up late anyway, even though I am a little tired. I probably would have slept late this morning had I not had to get up. Tomorrow I can sleep in because we have no plans for the day. I will try to write some more entries for the PAD Chapbook Challenge tomorrow. It is too late to do it today. I read the prompts and could think of nothing to write so I decided I could do it later. Later has turned into too late tonight. Procrastination and perfectionism will do that to a person. It makes one wait until it is too late to act.

 

I am rarely late for appointments, meetings, or things I must do, but if there is an option to leave something until later, I often take advantage of it. I meet deadlines, but often wait until the last available moment. Even so, being late is not my choice. My Mom instilled in me that being late is never right and I like to be right so I do things early or on time. Mom’s best friend, June, is always late and it is a major irritation to Mom. June is a wonderful person with many great qualities, but being late is a habit with her. I do not understand it, because I always endeavor to be on time or early. Mom has little patience for June being late, she complains of it to me almost every time it happens, but she will not say anything to June no matter how long she has to wait on her. Mom will not complain to her because she places such a high value on their friendship.

 

I see how much lateness bothers Mom and it makes me try even harder to be on time or early. It is of high value to Mom and I want to please her. It is almost a matter of honor with me never to be late. I hate it when we are at appointments early and then have to wait hours for the doctors who run late to show up. It seems that professionals would make a concerted effort to be on time. They charge if patients are late or do not show for appointments, but they can be late anytime and we can do nothing about it.

 

It is getting late and I must get this posted for today so I will leave my treatise at this.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

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November 2009 PAD Chapbook Challenge – Days 1-3

Attempting the Challenge

 

I take on the challenge,

But think myself handicapped

By insufficient inspiration.

 

No poems have burst forth

From my heart and mind

For over a year now.

 

Why should I suddenly

Be able to write a poem

Every day for a month?

 

I want to own a new lease

On my poetic life

With poems pouring out.

 

However, I am unsure

That I am capable

Of completing the task.

 

I must be resolute

And make my best effort:

Nothing is gained without struggle.

 

©  Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

 

 

My Master and Me

 

The world is a huge place

I take up so little space.

 

My master is strong

I do as she says and come along.

 

Every day is an adventure

My thoughts are sweet and pure.

 

I am a puppy dog

I like it when we jog.

 

My master is the leader

I try hard to delight her.

 

I have great love and joy

I am better than any toy.

 

My master is adorable

I please her when I am able.

 

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

 

 

Positive Experience

It is great to be writing again
Even if I am not inspired
Perhaps the daily practice
Will eventually lead to revelation.

I use prompts and exercises
To get the words flowing
Anything to get my mind going
In a productive direction.

I write to please myself
With little thought of
Anyone else who might
Read my feeble attempts.

It is a positive experience
Putting words on the page
Even if I do not think them
As good as those in the past.

A little time and I will have
An abundance of pieces
Written with more effort
Than if I had not tried at all.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Wednesday, November 04, 2009

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Early

Creative Journal – Entry Twenty-four – Early

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

 

I do not like waking up early. I like to sleep late in the morning because that seems to be when I have the most vivid dreams. I often wake early anyway. It makes the days very long when I wake early because I usually stay up late. I do not like to go to bed early. Usually if I do try to go to sleep early, I just lie in bed awake, toss, and turn.

 

Mom likes to be early whenever she goes to an appointment, so I often sit and wait for periods of time. I always carry a book to read so I am not bored in the waiting room. Sometimes I carry my iPod too. I have always felt it was fine to be right on time for appointments. I am not enamored of being early. However, as usual I do what makes my Mom happy.

 

Being early is always better than being late. Unless something unexpected happens, I am not ever late. I do tend to procrastinate so I usually do not finish things early. I usually meet deadlines, but just barely.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

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Wednesday’s Midweek Reflection

 

Monday afternoon, Mom’s Homebound Buddies from the church came to visit her. Frances and Wendell visit once a month. They bring a bag of literature, tapes, bulletins, and various notices. They check to see if there is anything Mom needs desperately which there never is. I finished reading Day After Night by Anita Diamant. This was an excellent novel about Jewish concentration camp survivors confined in Israel when they tried to immigrate there. Their experiences were very realistic and the story was told well.

 

Tuesday was the third so my Social Security was deposited in the bank. Mom and I went to Wachovia and I drew out some money. I paid Mom for the month and paid on my debt. We went to State Farm and I paid the insurance on my Buick. We went to Cartridge World and traded my magenta cartridge that was malfunctioning for a new one. We went by the library, I returned books, and checked out some new ones. We went to Sam’s Club and I bought It’s Your Time by Joel Osteen. I have read all his books and find his writing very inspirational. We went to Wal-Mart where I bought Diet Cokes, Halloween dog toys that were half-price, Venus razors, and microwavable meals. We picked up a mouse for Mom’s computer because Ko-Ko had gnawed the wires on her old mouse and it would not work. When we got home, I unloaded the truck while Hope ran around me. I walked Hope a mile because it became dark so early. I read and wrote a journal entry.

 

This morning I computed some and wrote three poems for the Poem a Day Chapbook Challenge. I am not content with the poems, but they are better than not trying at all. Mom and I went to a site that sells storage buildings. We found one she likes. I walked Hope two miles after we returned home.

 

That is all I have to report right now. I hope all of you are doing well.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

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Children

Creative Journal – Entry Twenty-three – Children

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

 

Children are a blessing from God. They are undeserved gifts. Often they come to us unplanned. They are a grace come to us unmerited. A baby is a blank slate that parents write upon with their deeds and words. Children learn from us without reservation. They take in everything we do or fail to do. Their hearts and minds are imprinted with our love or lack thereof. They grow to mimic us in the way they live their lives. If we are kind and loving, their lives reflect it. Our care and concern shows in their treatment of others.

 

I tried to have a child for years, but did not become pregnant. I came to believe I could not have a child. Then unplanned I became pregnant. I knew when I found out I was carrying a child that I would not give it up. No matter how Richard pushed for an abortion, I was steadfast that I would have my child. I was afraid I might not have another chance at motherhood. When I learned my baby was a boy I was full of joy, although Richard had by then decided a girl would be okay, but he did not want a boy. I went to Lamaze classes and learned all I could about babies. I knew a lot already because there had always been little ones in the house as I grew up. My Mom babysat for extra money. When it was determined that I would need a c-section I was disappointed. The baby was too big for me to deliver naturally. I was afraid of the surgery, but I was glad the baby would come safely. I was very happy when Alex was delivered and I held him in my arms. He was beautiful and I was blessed. From the day I brought him home, my life revolved around him. I read to him and cherished him as if he were the most important person in the world. In fact, he was most important to me. As I watched him grow I marveled at the miracle of his life. Every day he developed a little more. He became his own person and I was elated. He learned new things and as he grew I thanked God for his intelligence and personality. Those days went quickly and soon years had gone by. He grew from a little boy who adored me, to a teenager who called me his friend, and then he became the adult who wants me to respect his freedom. It has been a wonderful journey through the years with Alex. I am so thankful I was blessed to share my life with this wonderful human being. He continually makes me proud.

 

I would like to share a poem I wrote for him…

 

Uncommon Grace

 

When I look upon your face

I see God’s outstanding grace

Embodied in you,

Given to me.

 

Oh what a blessing

To have a child like you,

Because there are few

Who do as you do.

 

Making me proud

Every step of the way,

By the actions you take

Every single day.

 

You are a true gift from God

So precious and dear,

Who grows in worth

From year to year.

 

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

 

I wish that every person who has a child would receive him or her as a gift. Every child should grow up surrounded by love. It does not matter so much what a child has materially, the important thing is being cherished. Children grow to love and respect others as they are loved and respected. May the Lord be with all children born.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

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