365 Creativity Project-Day 109

Journal entry:

Journal 4-27-20120001

April Poem A Day Challenge, poem twenty-seven:

The Trouble Is Me

I could easily
Fall prey to blaming others
For my own problems,
But that is not my manner
Of dealing with existence.

My choices have cost
Many opportunities
To further my life,
Consequences developed
Because of headstrong actions.

The life I now live
Is not always everything
I would desire it
Should be, but the trouble is
Undoubtedly found in me.

I have the power
To change the circumstances,
Building destiny
That fulfills my fondest dreams
Relying on my talents.

The trouble is me,
But the solution also
Depends on actions
That I can easily take
Creating much better days.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Friday, April 27, 2012

Photographs:

DSC_0733

Rose…

DSC_0734

Rose…

DSC_0735

Rose bud…

DSC_0736

Rose and bud…

I am grateful:

1.   Mom is doing somewhat better.
2.   We were given free cookbooks at Sam’s Club.
3.   I did not have to read genealogies in the Bible today.
4.   There is much happiness in my life.
5.   My work here at home is appreciated.

Friday again, I hope you had a rewarding day. Try to accomplish something creative over your weekend. You could write some haiku or tanka. You could do some doodling. You have ability and talent, you only have to use them.

If you found something you liked or see something you believe I could improve, please leave me a comment.

Always,
Jo Ann

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  1. #1 by startingthedialogue on April 27, 2012 - 10:16 pm

    Once again Jo Ann you have highlighted your talents. I get the feeling you don’t really believe in your own Divinity or talents. If you don’t believe then it is unlikely you will attract others who will believe or support your efforts in the long run. Throw your spark out there, take some chances, live life lusciously and with abandon. It’s scary, but that’s part of the fun!
    Laura

    • #2 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on April 28, 2012 - 2:42 pm

      Laura,

      I try to believe, but have some long standing self-esteem issues. I do want to have more faith in myself, but it is somewhat difficult. That is another of the reasons I started my creativity project, to overcome the fear that what I do is not good enough by doing something every day. When one has Schizo-Affective Disorder, as I do, belief in the self can be very hard to maintain. I know I accomplish a lot for someone with my illness, but don’t always feel I measure up to the standards of “normal” people. That is not said as an excuse, just as an explanation.

      Thank you for so generously encouraging me. You are very kind to do so.

      Jo Ann

  2. #3 by Nynia Chance on April 27, 2012 - 10:39 pm

    What a fantabulous post. I think I’d rather say, not “some fears are so entrenched they’re almost impossible to overcome”, but more “some fears are asking for more time and attention than others”. Not Now doesn’t mean Not Ever. ❤

    • #4 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on April 28, 2012 - 2:45 pm

      Thank you Nynia. You have such an awesome outlook on things. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me. I am hoping I will overcome the fear, but really driving in Atlanta can be so scary. When I don’t know exactly where I am going it also makes it challenging alone.

      • #5 by Nynia Chance on April 29, 2012 - 8:41 pm

        Oh goodness, I’ve driven Atlanta! That’s not a phobia, that’s caution!

        Much love and peace to you.

      • #6 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on April 30, 2012 - 2:44 am

        Atlanta is truly an area to be approached with caution. I am not comfortable going there by myself. I do fine locally, but the big city kinda scares me. I don’t think I really have a phobia, I will go out alone when I know where I am going. I have to do that quite a lot.

        Love and peace to you as well, Nynia.

  3. #7 by kharahouse on April 28, 2012 - 8:22 pm

    This was such a great post, Jo Ann. Thank you so much for sharing this. I hope you overcome your fear, and know that it’s not unusual, and when you overcome it, you’ll be just that much stronger.

    • #8 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on April 28, 2012 - 9:12 pm

      Thanks Khara. I am so glad you visited. I did not go today, but maybe another time. Driving in Atlanta is very hard for me, especially when I don’t know the location of my destination. There is a bit of fear of being in the city alone as well. Thank you for the encouragement. One day perhaps I will go…

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