365 Creativity Project-Day 138

A retrospective story start:

Journal 5-26-20120001

The prompt that inspired the above and the poem below was found at Poetry Jam. I have much material on the subject of bullies. Unfortunately, those memories of being victimized have never faded.

Inhumanity

They want to be friends
Now so many years after
The damage was done,
I suppose they believe it
Easy to forgive meanness.

The scars I carry
Are deeper than the surface
Of my tender skin,
The cruel words still remain
Echoing loud inside my mind.

I am a victim
Of their youthful savagery
Even in this time,
The atrocity keeps me
Bound by their brutality.

Maybe they forgot,
But my memory is fresh,
I face it each time
I look into a mirror
And am bedeviled anew.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Saturday, May 26, 2012

Photographs:

DSC_0991

Ko-Ko…

DSC_0992

Hope…

DSC_0997

Penny…

I am grateful:

1.   I got up early.
2.   Sherry, our groomer, came and sheared our dogs.
3.   I finished reading The Distant Hours by Kate Morton, which was a very entertaining novel.
4.   The green beans we bought recently were surprisingly good.
5.   Hope allowed Sherry to clear out her ears better than usual.

I hope your Saturday has been filled with happiness. Make some time to get creative. You can produce something wonderful if you only make the effort.

Your comments are as always welcome and appreciated.

Always,
Jo Ann

 

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  1. #1 by Laura Diane on May 27, 2012 - 4:54 pm

    Hi Jo Ann,

    I am sorry you had to endure the cruelty of others as a child. In my coaching business I’ve heard similar stories and worked with a number of people to release the feeling of the victim and to empower themselves. The past can wreak havoc on our present if we allow it. I hope you have overcome your aches from the cruelty and that your life now is filled with loving, caring people who recognize you are a gentle soul with an angelic smile. If others don’t recognize that in you then I pray you at least recognize that in yourself. Have a wonderful Sunday!
    Laura

    • #2 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on May 27, 2012 - 5:17 pm

      I am mostly at peace over all of it Laura. At times, I look at myself and the names I was called come to mind, but I can usually shrug it off and go on. My self confidence and self esteem are not as strong as I would like, but as complicated as my life has been, it really is not surprising. I have problems with meeting new people and can feel very uncomfortable in crowds, but I manage. I am fortunate that I am in a nurturing environment now and have had the opportunity to enjoy passion in the past. Having someone love and appreciate me has eased the pain of the past. I think the damage is deep and never completely goes away, but I have learned that my present is not predicated on my past. I can be whoever I choose to be and have accomplished much.

      It never leaves completely, but it becomes bearable. Having some of the bullies apologize for their meanness has been heartrending. After so many years, it somehow makes it easier to realize I am worthwhile…

      Bless you for trying to help traumatized people. You are very kind.

      Always,
      Jo Ann

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