365 Creativity Project-Day 150

Journal entry:

Journal 6-7-20120001

Overwhelming Weight

It is the subject
That goes mostly unmentioned,
But is forever
With me surrounding body
And weighing upon my mind.

I labor under
The pressing heaviness of
These unattractive
Pounds every single moment
And am embarrassed by them.

Their presence on me
Is like the elephant in
The room unhidden
By my thin uncertain smile,
Tainting all accomplishment.

Unsightly layers
Envelope reality
Of who I would like
To show my beautiful self
In unvarnished truth to be.

I would so gladly
Give up this heavy burden,
But it is harder
Than I can aptly manage,
I am entrapped inside fat.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, June 7, 2012

Photographs:

DSC_0037

Cherub…

DSC_0038

Mug…

DSC_0040

Plaque…

DSC_0041

Candle holder…

I am grateful:

1.   I finally got up after letting the alarm go off for twenty-five minutes this morning.
2.   I caught up on our Bible reading.
3.   Mom was able to go to the veterinarian with Hope and I. She made managing Hope much easier.
4.   Even though I did not use a prompt, I wrote a poem.
5.   I can admit I am a writer.

I hope your Thursday has been pleasant. Reward yourself for making it through the day by doing something creative. You have the ability within you. Everyone is gifted with creativity from the moment of birth. There is just a process of discovering our talents or in some cases rediscovering them.

Please leave your comments so that I know your thoughts.

Always,
Jo Ann

Advertisements

, , , , , , , ,

  1. #1 by Laura on June 7, 2012 - 11:25 pm

    Hi Jo Ann,

    Sorry I haven’t commented for a few days. I was having connectivity issues with my ISP. Hopefully all is taken care of at this point.

    Your issue with weight is pandemic. So many struggle with the issue. Learning to love ourselves despite flaws we see is probably the hardest thing to do. I hope you will find the courage to love yourself despite your mental health and despite your weight. It is not the outside that makes us worthy, it is who we think of ourselves on the inside. You are a talented writer learning to expand and grow. You take beautiful photos and share heart felt messages with others. Love yourself for those wonderful gifts you provide to others and forget the rest. It’s not important–or I should say it is only as important as you make it.

    Hoping you can find joy and be grateful for your body. It is a gift.

    Laura

    • #2 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on June 7, 2012 - 11:51 pm

      Laura,

      I hope your connectivity issues are cleared up. Those can be a real pain. I have AT&T and sometimes I get so mad at them I could scream…

      Weight is a real struggle for me. I do mostly love myself, just so long as I avoid mirrors and don’t allow anyone to take my picture. I really dislike my looks, but I am pretty happy. I try to do other things that don’t involve having to be seen. I think I live in my mind a lot. Intellectually I accept myself…

      I am grateful for my body as home to my soul and mind, but I do have problems liking it. I think I am okay as a person, if I could only make my body fit who I am. It is a trial, but I have a good life. I am fortunate to be here still.

      Thank you for commenting on this post. I was afraid it would be unlikable. Sometimes I need to write about what bothers me, and even though it is not a pleasant topic, I felt sharing might help someone.

      I appreciate your reading.

      Always,
      Jo Ann

      • #3 by Laura on June 8, 2012 - 12:04 am

        i again Jo Ann,
        Venting our frustrations and some of the harsher topics on our blogs makes us human. It adds an element that personalizes it all.

        I am sorry you struggle with so many things, but I truly find you inspirational and talented.
        Have a great night. I’m off to bed.
        Laura

      • #4 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on June 8, 2012 - 12:17 am

        Laura,

        I think blogs are good therapy, especially if you are fortunate to have encouraging followers that lift your spirits. Writing has been a life saver for me through the years.

        I deal with a lot, but all of us do. Life is not easy, but it is rewarding and the learning we do makes it all the more worthwhile.

        I am touched to have you say you find me inspirational and talented. I try to focus beyond the hardships of life most of the time. I want to make a difference and that involves looking on the positive side of things. I often write to remind myself how fortunate I am and how wonderful life is. There is much happiness in the little things that grace my days. I am human though and once in a while the bad things get me down. If I did not write about it, it would grow larger and overshadow the brightness.

        I am reading a bit and catching up on things online. I hope you rest well and awaken refreshed for your day.

        Always,
        Jo Ann

  2. #5 by Stan on June 8, 2012 - 6:37 am

    I understand.

    • #6 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on June 8, 2012 - 1:09 pm

      Thanks Stan… I apologize for such a negative entry… Sometimes things just get to me.

      Always,
      Jo Ann

  3. #7 by Amy on June 9, 2012 - 4:26 pm

    Oh, Jo Ann. You’ve hit a nerve. I struggle with the very same issues. But look at your Grateful list, and your last paragraph. These things are you — your hopes, your talents, your caring nature. Not what it says on a weight scale.

    • #8 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on June 9, 2012 - 4:44 pm

      Amy,

      I am sometimes overwhelmed by the insecure feelings my weight causes. I wrote about it to help me deal, but in posting I hoped it might help someone else. I hope all in all it encourages others. The struggle is shared by many. Thank you for the encouragement. I am mostly at peace with myself. It helps to know others work under the same burdens. We are wonderful creations of a loving God.

      Thank you for reading and commenting.

      Always,
      Jo Ann

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: