365 Creativity Project-Day 254

Journal entry:

Journal 9-19-20120001

The poem that follows answers the prompt at Poetic Asides. If you are in need of inspiration you should visit that site.

Most Difficult

I was not prepared
To have it go horribly
Wrong, but had no choice
In the course of the events,
God was in complete control.

Pregnancies are by
Nature somewhat uncertain,
Twins even more so,
But complications arose
And there were difficulties.

At times I believed
Everything would be okay,
But I knew the risks
In Twin to Twin Transfusion
Syndrome were very severe.

When one precious twin
Died I was devastated,
Then I had to make
The choice of whether I would
Continue carrying one.

I was told she would
Most probably die also
Or be terribly
Handicapped, so I chose to
Let her go with heavy heart.

Sometimes I still blame
Myself for being selfish,
But I think it was
For the best even though it
Was the hardest choice ever.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Photographs:

DSC_0881

DSC_0886

DSC_0887

I am grateful:

1.   I was able to sleep late.
2.   Alex called me last night.
3.   Laura called and came to pick up the shirts we had bought for Alex.
4.   Life is rewarding.
5.   I have a decent memory.

I hope you have had a wonderful Wednesday. Take some time to engage in a creative endeavor now. You cannot expect to improve your skills if you do not exercise them regularly. Make time to explore your imagination.

As a prompt write about a difficult choice you have made, or a choice that changed the course of your life. This should lead to an interesting piece of work. If you use this prompt, please leave a link to your work in the comments below.

Thank you for reading this blog entry. If you enjoyed what you read, perhaps you would like to subscribe to Chronicles. I know you may have thoughts, suggestions, or criticism, so I encourage you to leave me a comment.

Always,
Jo Ann

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  1. #1 by seingraham on September 21, 2012 - 4:45 pm

    I can see why this would be a “worst thing” for you. What an awful dilemma to be in and then to be left with no child … I’m so sorry you had to go through that – the choices you were given shouldn’t happen to anyone. No-one can know the right answers – from beginning to end – and the only right answers are the ones you make yourself. I’m sure you’ve second-guessed yourself and doubted whether you should have made other choices but no, the choices you made were right for you and the babies – so I’m sure you’ve heard this before, put it away and go on.You did the most unselfish thing you could do; you thought like a mother who didn’t want her child to live a lifetime of pain. Let it go.

    • #2 by Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on September 24, 2012 - 11:26 pm

      Thank you so much for reading non-judgmentally. Most of the time I have let this go… It just still holds the place of the worst thing I have experienced. I usually know I did the right thing, but I cannot help second guessing myself at times. I think had I been healthier at the time and not at risk myself that I might have made a different decision. I hope the Lord forgives me for my choice. I know with the path my life has taken that the decision was for the best. Thank you for taking time to reply.

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