Archive for category Disappointment

Prayer For Love

This poem, I dedicate to every person who has ever died because of jealousy, hate, unreasoning rage, or war; from Abel to the latest homicide or terror victim to the defenders of our lives. This poem, I also dedicate to every person who attempts to love in spite of all the unfairness of our world; from the lover cuddling the beloved to the missionary ministering in a hostile land to the parent kissing a child.

Prayer For Love

Hearts open,
Minds aware,
Spirits real,
Souls afire,
We cry for love.

Love reaches
Out to us,
Whoever we are,
Love makes
No distinctions.

We are offspring
Of love’s existence,
From the dawn
Of humanity
Until this day.

Love is our
Birthright,
Our destiny,
In love we are
And shall remain.

We crave freedom,
Respect, trust,
Honesty, family,
Friends, each life matters,
All products of love.

Love is thankful,
Kind, understanding,
Generous, helpful,
Forgiving, treasures life,
Love is a gift.

We create futures
Built around the gift
Of love which makes
Every one of us special,
Lives devoted to love.

Above all is love
The only solution
To our souls’ desolation,
Dare I say it, yes,
I believe, God is LOVE!

Hearts open,
Minds aware,
Spirits real,
Souls afire,
We cry for love.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Friday, July 8, 2016

‪#‎GodSaveAmerica‬

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Tears Flow By

Why? Why kill? Why?
People, all people,
Every individual,
Each person,
Here and everywhere,
Is precious, priceless.
Human beings are
Repositories of
Creativity, goodness,
Kindness, generosity,
Faith, and hope.
When one of us
Is destroyed,
Cut down,
A bit of light,
Of happiness,
Of glory departs
The world forever;
An emptiness
Overwhelms me.
My heart aches,
Salty tears flow from
My burning eyes,
Over pale cheeks!
Is there no love
Left among us?
Why? I cry! Why?

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Wednesday, July 6, 2016

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1576 Words Toward NaNoWriMo, Still Behind

I have a warning for you all who are reading going forward, there are adult language, situations, and content in the coming pages. If you think this might offend you, you probably should refrain from reading the story. I think I will be able to write without being too explicit, but at this point I am not positive where the story will take me. I would think it could get by with a PG rating were it a movie, but it might possibly be R. I don’t think I have what it takes to write X rated content. I did want to warn you though. There are also possible triggers for those who might have experienced abuse… As with all stories, you read at your own risk…

Otherwise Entertained (9)

One afternoon after coming home from work, Tony changed out of his brown uniform and put on gym shorts and a tee shirt. He suggested they go to a local burger place for something to eat before heading to Ramsey’s for the evening of gaming.

In the line for their orders, Morgan noticed several high school girls staring at Tony. She followed their gaze and realized his penis was sticking out of the leg of the shorts.

She leaned over to him and whispered, “Your parts are showing.”

He laughed, “It’s okay, I meant to do that.”

Morgan just stared at him a few moments incredulously. She wondered whom this man was she had married.

When they got in the car after the embarrassing moments spent eating, she suggested they go home for him to change before going to Ramsey’s house. She did not want to sit through whatever comments might be lobbed at them if the guys saw him that way. He agreed and they hurried to make it to the apartment and then arrive for the game on time.

Kelvin, Wagner, Jason, Max, Cade, and Ramsey were waiting and Morgan apologized for her and Tony being late.

Kelvin said, “Actually the rest of us are early, you two are almost always on time.”

She smiled at him, grateful for his kind remark.

In moments, they were embroiled in a battle with giant spiders and somehow Celeste was killed. Kaos put her on his horse and carried her back to town. The party tried to find someone to resurrect her, but they found they did not possess enough gold to buy such a miracle. Therefore, she was burned on a pyre and her ashes were scattered on the water of a river.

Morgan rolled a new character, while the others discussed the next adventure. She named the human magic user, Morgana, and rejoined the game. The rest of the evening, Kaos stayed near her, and Cornelius did not seem to mind.

Morgan wondered at Kelvin’s interest in her character, but figured since his Kaos was a half-orc and Morgana had an eighteen charisma score that it might all be part of the game.

After two hours of unrelenting game play, everyone packed up their stuff and went to the kitchen for snacks. Ramsey suggested they do something different since it was a full moon. He wanted to play a game of war in the wooded acreage surrounding the house. Evidently, everyone except Morgan had known about it beforehand, because they all simply went to their vehicles for flashlights. Tony went to the car and came back with one light. Morgan thought this would mean she was left out of the fun, but Kelvin went back out and came in with an extra flashlight.

Sawyer decided to join the rest of them and Ramsey explained if someone hit you with their light, you were dead. They divided into teams based on dice rolls. Tony and Morgan ended up on opposing teams. Kelvin knew the woods because he and Ramsey had been friends almost as long as they could remember. He told her to stay close to him.

Under the trees, the moon only dappled a portion of the paths. They all spread out and Morgan had trouble keeping up because she kept stumbling over roots. Kelvin seemed like he belonged in this environment as sure footed as a mountain goat. They had to keep their flashlights out so as not to draw attention to themselves and be killed. There were bursts of running and then times when they tried to move as quietly as ghosts.

After about an hour in the woods, a couple had been killed. Kelvin began to move again and Morgan followed. She looked away a moment because she thought she heard someone else moving nearby. She somehow managed to fall down a small ravine. Her ankle twisted and she gasped at the sharp pain, but she could not call out because it would mean being captured or killed by the other team. She waited, hoping Kelvin would realize she was no longer with him. After several minutes, she heard someone approach on the path above.

Kelvin said, “Morgan are you somewhere here?”

She whispered, “I fell down and hurt myself. I cannot climb out of this ravine. Can you help?”

Kelvin said, “Yes, I think I see you. Just be still and I will be down in a minute, but keep quiet, others are not far away.”

She waited, watching him carefully scale the slope. After he reached her, he helped her to her feet.

“I cannot put much weight on my right foot. It really hurts,” she whispered.

He turned on his flashlight and said, “Sit back down, but let me look at it. If you are badly hurt the game is over anyway.”

She pulled up the leg of her jeans and they both saw the ankle, which was already beginning to swell.

Kelvin leaned over her and said, “Put your arms around my neck and try to stand. I will take you in my arms and carry you back to the house.”

She began to protest, “It’s too far for you to carry me. I’ll…”

“Quiet now, it’s no problem. I have you. Remember, no man, or woman, left behind,” he said.

He slowly climbed the steep wall of the ravine. She was surprised he could carry her because he was rather thin and did not look very strong. When they got back on the path, he stopped.

He looked around and seemed to determine they were still alone.

“I’ve wanted to do this for quite a while,” he said and gently kissed her.

It was so sweet, and Morgan responded to kiss by returning it. She thought this was probably very wrong. In fact, she knew it was wrong, but now it felt totally right.

He gripped her body a little tighter and said, “We should get back, someone might wonder what happened to us.”

She said, “Yes, that would be best.”

After about fifteen minutes, they made it to the area where the cars were parked.

Tony, who they had killed earlier, appeared out of the shadows and asked, “Why are you carrying her?”

“I fell and twisted my ankle. He brought me back because I could not walk this far,” Morgan answered.

He laughed, “Oh yeah. I knew this was no game for a girl like you. I would have made you walk. You want to act tough, you can be tough.”

Kelvin set her on her feet near Katie and said, “Some sport you are, Tony.”

He headed to Wagner’s car and sounded the horn in three long blasts. Soon everyone appeared out of the woods.

Ramsey asked, “Why did you call off the game Kelvin?”

“That is what we usually do when someone is hurt. Morgan twisted her ankle falling down the ravine,” he replied.

Tony said, “Yeah, she cannot run with the big boys.”

Ramsey said, “Well, it was a good night and we can always do it again. You’re going to go get your books and things, aren’t you Tony?”

He said, “Sure,” and went into the house.

Kelvin asked, “Is he like this often?”

Morgan shook her head and said, “Sometimes, not usually where anyone sees it.”

Ramsey said, “That really sucks.”

Wagner spoke up, “Yeah, he should not act that way with his wife.”

When Tony returned, Kelvin said, “You should drive home. It would not be good for Morgan to do it. Do you have an ace bandage to wrap that ankle in?”

Tony answered, “Yeah, she has one from the last time she sprained something. I’ll get her home alright.”

Morgan opened the door and got in the car, when Tony turned on the ignition she rolled the window down and told the guys, “Thank you all for the great night. We will see you soon. Maybe Friday night at our apartment.”

Kelvin said, “Yeah, we will see you then.”

Tony drove home with the stereo blaring and did not even speak to her the whole way. When he parked in the driveway, he got out and went in the apartment leaving her in the car. She limped to the door and found he had locked it. She took her keys out of her pocket and unlocked it.

When she got inside she saw he had already went to the bedroom and shut the door. She silently thanked God that she had her keys. She sat down at the desk she had used for homework growing up and thought over what had happened.

She had not expected Kelvin to help her by toting her through the woods. The kiss had come as a total surprise, but she wondered if it would happen again. It was very special. She knew it should never be repeated, but she hoped it would be.

It was unusual for Tony to act so mean where others could see and hear it, but she was well aware he could be abusive.

She went to the bathroom and found the bandage to wrap her ankle. It was extremely swollen by now, but she hoped it was not broken. She went back to her desk, took out some paper, and began writing a poem. At least writing would keep her mind off the pain.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, November 4, 2013

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I Have Been Productive Today

Of course I stayed up all night, but I took a nap between 7:00AM and noon. During the dark hours of the morning I had a burst of creativity. I hope you will enjoy the following offerings…

Deserted

Wondering where you
Might be hiding on this night
When all the stars shine
With such brilliant clarity
Above this earthly coldness.

I have no chance to
See your face among the others
Lingering so near
Because you are now absent,
Doing whatever you do.

I wanted to reach
Beyond these four lonely walls
So I could somehow
Share in the wonderful life
You are so richly living.

I am totally
Lost among those few ignored
By your provision,
You are moving far away
Into tomorrow’s distance.

Your greatest treasure
Alludes my outstretched fingers,
No effort of mind
Can make your goodness return
At this moment to grace me.

Wondering where you
Might be hiding on this night
When all the stars shine
With such brilliant clarity
Above this earthly coldness.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan 
Monday, October 28, 2013

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I found these weeds attractive. I sometimes think God’s greatest creations grow wild.

 

Otherwise Entertained (6)

She lettered in chorus during her freshman, sophomore, and junior years. Before she completed high school in the first quarter of her senior year, she took a trip to Washington, D.C. with the chorus. There was a competition held there for groups from all over the country. Tony insisted Morgan go, even though she was hesitant to leave him.

The trip was memorable because she visited some of the highlights of the city. She wished the time spent in the Smithsonian Museum had not been very limited. There was so much to see. The Washington and Lincoln monuments were inspiring. When she sang in the National Cathedral, she found its glory overwhelming. The Capitol was gorgeous, as was the White House, but she was disappointed in the great mall. The litter everywhere detracted from the beauty of the area. 

She did not call home to talk to her husband often because long distance was so expensive. There was a dance, but she sat to the side in her royal blue dress, only watching the others. She was often left alone when her roommates decided to do something interesting. She shopped for things to take home to Tony and her parents. She found a tee shirt for Tony, a necklace for her mother, and a carved pocketknife for her father. She also bought commemorative postcards. Traveling by bus was not very pleasant, reminding her of the harrowing times she had spent on school buses through the years.

When she returned home, she and Tony celebrated by going out for steaks and drinks. Morgan loved feeling her husband’s arms around her again. She had felt uneasy while so far away. She belonged back where love surrounded her.

She thought of this trip when they were planning their vacation. She hoped to go back and take time to see everything Washington contained, but Tony wanted to go to Panama City as they had on their honeymoon. Morgan could not argue. She had enjoyed the first trip tremendously, except the motorcycle accident. She had scraped herself up quite a bit and chipped a front tooth. He did not seem to realize his recklessness had caused her harm. She hoped the vacation would be more relaxing.

They checked in to the Fontainebleau in the early evening after driving most of the day. She and Tony showered together, taking their time, before getting ready for supper. They ate seafood in the restaurant and then went swimming in the indoor pool. The full moon hung huge in the sky as they walked the sugar white beach. She gathered shells, even finding a starfish and a sand dollar. They only had three days and those hurried by like the seagulls flying over the ocean. She managed to avoid sunburn on her pale skin because Tony kept her slathered in Coppertone. She did the same for him because he also had a light complexion.

On the drive home, they narrowly avoided an accident because Tony fell asleep at the wheel. Morgan’s scream probably kept Katie from sustaining significant damage and might have saved them from injury as well.

She hoped this time she would be pregnant, but it did not happen. After all their lovemaking, it seemed a baby should result. She began to think something was wrong with her, even imagining she might be cursed.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, October 28, 2013

 

2013-10 Contest Proof

 

2013-10 Featured Proof

I am grateful:

1)   Alex arrived in California safely.
2)   Laying out the Sweetwater Camera Club pages for the Chapel Hill News & Views has become considerably easier.
3)   I am enjoying writing Otherwise Entertained and believe it may develop into something significant.
4)   Window 8.1 works better than I expected.
5)   I am getting some use from my Adobe Creative Cloud membership.

You are highly creative, gifted with the ability to fulfill your dreams. All it takes is consistent effort. Make sure you take the time today to share your talent with the world. You never know what blessings you may bestow on others through your work. So many people are looking for something to allow them a few moments of escape, you can provide this gift.

As a prompt, write about someone who left you alone and how it helped you grow. You might write a poem, a story, a journal entry, or even a note for future use. This should be simple because everyone has suffered abandonment.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope it entertained you. If you enjoyed your time here, you might want to enter your email address above and subscribe to Chronicles. As I indicated, the snippet from Otherwise Entertained above is the sixth part. The whole story is on the blog, so you might want to catch up by reading the earlier pieces if you are new here. The archives contain a great deal of material you might enjoy, so feel free to explore.

I hope you have a totally awesome day and return here often in the future.

Always,
Jo Ann

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Some Things I Created Today

A poem in comment on current affairs:

Expression Of Exasperation

They fight endlessly,
They refuse to compromise,
They hold our nation
In a state where progress is
Held in complete abeyance.

Politicians do
No work for electorate,
They simply will not;
Every day the country falls
Further into great distress.

Can we the people
Continue so quietly
While disaster falls
Upon those who sacrifice
Life and limb for our freedom?

Is freedom truly
Manifest in lofty halls
Where reasonable
Voices are not allowed to
Debate or even discuss.

I fear we have let
The very few work toward
Destruction of all
Created by patriots
Who wanted better for us.

When rulers cease to
Serve the interests of those
Who raised them up to
Prominence the time comes to
Cast them out of their places.

Come now citizens,
Rise, throw off the iron shackles
Of a government
Gone willfully against us,
Vote wisdom into power.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Saturday, October 12, 2013

An older photograph and a poem created today:

Called Out Butterfly Dreams

A photograph taken at dusk today and a thought:

Hawthorne At Dusk

I hope you are well. I encourage you to engage your creativity and make something wonderful to share with the world. I am convinced you have greater ability than you may even realize and that you can reach further than you estimate.

As a prompt, take a picture of your own, past or present, add some relevant text. Share it with others, or post it where it will encourage you.

I am grateful:

1)   No matter what happens, God will never desert me.
2)   I am blessed beyond what I deserve.
3)   My son, Alex, is on his way home.
4)   We still have a home, food to eat, and drink to quench our thirst.
5)   I am strong enough to accomplish my dreams with Christ’s help.

Be a blessing wherever you travel. Even if your belief system is different, you can brighten someone’s life with your kindness, compassion and smile.

Always,
Jo Ann

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Thoughts, Poems, Pictures, I Would Like To Share

Please indulge me as I write about my son…

Journal 8-23-20130001

He is not perfect, but he is my joy. I wish he were not so far away. I miss him more than I like to think about. We talked on Voxer this morning, which made staying up all night worthwhile. He is writing a book, and unlike mine, I fully expect it to be published. He makes me believe I might even be able to write something publishable. He inspires me.

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Aptly Suited

You were chosen
To be exactly
Who you are in
This time and place.

Your experience
Has made you quite
Perfect for the tasks
Given you to do.

No one else in
All of Creation
Can fill your special
Place so completely.

No matter what you
Think, no matter how
You feel, it is clear
You are exactly ideal.

Called to be part
Of this time and space,
Someone who has an
Influential place.

So make the best
Of your many talents,
Take advantage of
Your wonderful gifts.

Leave a trace of
Yourself in all things
You accomplish here,
Helping create reality.

Who knows who may
Be watching, depending
On you to go forward,
Leading courageously?

Be light within
The darkness where some
Fear greatly to tread,
You make the difference.

Never let those
Positive words leave
The center of your mind,
For you matter so much.

You were chosen
To be exactly
Who you are in
This time and place.

©Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Monday, July 29, 2013

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Positive Uncertainty

You never know,
It is absolutely true,
You never know
When time will end
For those you love,
Or even yet for you.

So make the best
Of every moment,
Letting your love
Shine clearly through
In everything you do,
Because you never know.

Just because you
Have become angry,
Or you carry hidden hurts,
Does not mean you
Should not forgive, make up,
Because you never know.

Live your life to the best
Of your highest ability
And share your heart freely
With those who touch
Your existence so many ways,
Because you never know.

You can be a blessing
If you will only choose
To share your love abroad
With every single person
And creature every day,
Because you never know.

You never know,
It is absolutely true,
You never know
When time will end
For those you love,
Or even yet for you.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

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The other side of the persona that makes up who I am…

Guilt And Shame

Tell me why I must
And always how I can be,
Because I cannot
But see where this failure is
Held within the depths of me.

I am not ever
And never could I yet be
The perfect answer
To the prayers lifted for
Who I should in their truth be.

I am illusion
And perhaps a delusion,
Not a reality,
I am someone no one else
Can completely imagine.

I am the broken
And crushed reed once left standing
In the cruel wind,
Who cannot survive the fall
Or the awful loss of grace.

I hang my head low
And wish I could hide away
So no one else sees
The tears that constantly fall
Because of my great mistakes.

Tell me why I must
And always how I can be,
Because I cannot
But see where this failure is
Held within the depths of me.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Monday, August 12, 2013

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I am grateful:

1)   Depression does not always dog me.
2)   I am blessed beyond measure.
3)   I have not lost my faith in others despite the fact I often feel incompetence rules.
4)   Technology has allowed me to do more than I ever imagined.
5)   Dreams do come true.

As a prompt, write about a person, place, or thing that inspires you to fulfill your potential. You have an infinite ability to create, just put your heart, mind, and soul into it. I believe in you…

Please come back here again. I am not writing quite as often as I did with my Creativity Project, but you can definitely explore the past entries and perhaps find something encouraging.

God Bless You in all your endeavors.

Always,
Jo Ann

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Creativity Project Year Two-Day 142

Journal entry:

Journal 5-30-20130001

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I wrote the following poem in the deep darkness of the early morning hours. There is an element of crisis to it…

In Doubt

Am I so wholly
Unpleasing to God that He
Would fully desert
Those for whom I so dearly
Care, leaving them to suffer?

So it seems to me,
For I have constantly prayed
Entreating the Lord
To reach down in His mercy
And alleviate their pain,

But with no result.
I am bereft; believing,
Praying, and hoping
Has worked no good on their part,
They are in great agony.

I am now beset
With undeniable doubt,
I am not given
The strength of faith that Job had;
I am so weakling a worm.

Yet still I pray God
Even should He find it just
To forsake my cause
That He would show unceasing
Love and tenderness to them.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, May 30, 2013

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This was a Facebook status inspired by the above picture and divided into lines to make a poem…

In Life’s Garden

People are beautiful
And delicate like Summer roses.
They need careful tending
And abundant love to
Reach their glorious potential.
No matter their appearance
People are worthy of respect.
Nurture every person
Who touches your life
And show your gratitude
For the blessings they impart.
Like the roses, people only
Bloom for a little while
And then they fade away.
You are only left with
Memories of their splendor.
So cherish your moments with
Others and share your
Feelings of love.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, May 30, 2013

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I am grateful:

1.   I got a little sleep, but accomplished a lot overnight.
2.   I decided to call Qwest Diagnostics, and hopefully took care of that problem.
3.   We were not late to Mom’s appointment.
4.   The new program seems to be helping Mom a little.
5.   I got some beautiful pictures today.

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This was an emotional Thursday. I hope your day was more stable and enjoyable. I encourage you to engage your imagination and do some creative work. I guarantee it will enrich your life and touch others with whom you share. You may believe you have nothing to say, but if you open your mind you will find words. I believe in your talent. Believe in yourself.

As a prompt, write a crisis poem, story, or journal entry. You might want to resolve the crisis or leave it as a cliffhanger. You know what writing will nourish you. Follow your heart. If you use this prompt, please leave a link to your work in the comments below.

Thank you so much for reading my words. I have managed another day of writing and I have a little hope that I can go on. You might want to subscribe to Chronicles for future updates. I hope you will also come back to visit. Your comments are always appreciated and they help encourage me. Sometimes I feel the writing is too personal and I should stop sharing, but you all help me go on.

Always,
Jo Ann

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