Posts Tagged Pain
If I could change it
I am not quite sure I would
For from the deep pain
Has come more compassion than
I otherwise would have known.
I have seen the dark
Inside the very heart of
And I have lived the death of
The sweetest most precious gift.
Losing your children
Without watching them grow strong
Or even later
Is an agony beyond
All human capacity.
What more pain it must
Be for all-knowing, all-loving
God to contemplate
The loss of those who shun the
Mercy freely given them.
We are not able
To comprehend suffering
Deeper than our loss,
But Christ died, in agony,
That we might gain eternity.
One day, I will hold
The hands of those now missing
The joy of glad reunion
Because Jesus loves even me.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, January 20, 2014
I had a very hard time getting this written. I am still uncertain I handled the love scene well. Fortunately, in the end the words began to flow and it got easier. Please be advised there are adult language, content, and situations in this post. If you were abused there may be triggers here. As always, read at your own risk.
Otherwise Entertained (11)
Morgan did not sleep well, troubled by uneasy dreams. She woke before the clock alarmed at 6:00. She cooked scrambled eggs and toast for Tony’s breakfast. He grumbled about having a headache, but left for work without mentioning the night before.
She turned on the small black and white television for a few minutes hoping to distract herself, but she found as usual that it did not entertain her. After turning the television off, she put Neil Young’s Decade on the stereo. The music provided a pleasant background for her to tidy the apartment. Side one of the album finished playing and cut off itself. She wondered what Kelvin was doing this morning, but guessed he would still be asleep.
She showered, but before she finished dressing, someone knocked on the door. She grabbed her plush white terry cloth bathrobe, put it on over her underwear, and belted it tightly at her waist. She wondered who would be visiting this early on Saturday morning. As she passed the window, she noted that only Katie was in the driveway.
The knocking continued and she opened the door. She was surprised to find Kelvin standing there.
She stepped to the side to let him in and asked him, “How did you get here?”
He said, “I walked, as I do most of the time.”
After he shut the door behind him, he took her in his arms. His embrace was tender and warm. She wrapped her arms around him in return.
He murmured into her damp hair, “You smell so sweet.”
She looked up at him and said, “I need to go dress. I just finished my shower.”
He lifted her chin and kissed her hungrily. She responded with equal ardor.
He took her hand and led her to the bunk against the wall. When they were seated, he asked, “How is your ankle?”
She answered, “It seems to be getting better. Thank you for bringing me out of the woods. I do not think I could have walked so far alone. You seem more concerned about my ankle than anyone else.”
He said, “I care about you. You should realize that.”
They were still holding hands and she thought how nice it was. Kelvin slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly against him. They kissed again and Morgan felt her body reacting to his tenderness.
He said, “I don’t like the way Tony treats you. You deserve better.”
She looked into his kind brown eyes and said, “You are making it better by being here. I never dreamed you would walk this far to see me. It is not safe for either of us.”
He kissed her again, and said, “Safety is overrated. Besides no one knows I am here, there is no car to give us away. I suppose that is one advantage of being the only person without a car at eighteen. I never before thought there was anything positive about it.”
They kissed and he said, “Are you in love with him? It does not seem possible, but I need to know, before I…”
She put a finger to his lips, and said, “He has been pulling away from me for some time; he hurts me with words and actions. I do not feel like I used to, I made a horrible mistake marrying him, but he was different then. I think some of it is the drugs he takes. I think those have changed him. I was not aware of that habit. I have tried to get him to quit, but he ignores me. I was so stupid.”
He caressed her cheek, and said, “It is not your fault. Sometimes we rush into things without being certain what we are going to be getting.”
Their lips met and the kissing went on for several minutes. She broke away from his mouth and snuggled into his neck, kissing him there. He pulled her onto his lap and slid his hands beneath her robe. She moved her hands over his chest.
The phone rang, startling them both. She limped across the room to answer it. It was a telemarketer wanting to sell her magazines. She hung up.
He was at the refrigerator when she turned around. She guessed he needed a drink.
“You know you really should clean out the leftovers sometime. I noticed this stuff growing last night,” he said as he sat the dish containing the spaghetti on the bar.
She answered, “Yeah, I found that yesterday, but got busy, and forgot it.”
He dumped it in the garbage and ran water into the dish in the sink. He returned with a Coke to the bunk where she was sitting and handed her a Diet Coke.
“You do not seem well prepared for marriage. Maybe you need someone to teach you,” he said and kissed her again.
When their mouths separated, she said, “I think you will find me a fast learner, but perhaps I can teach you a few things too.”
He grinned, “I would just bet you can. I am willing, teach me.”
They lay down facing each other on the bunk and as they kissed, they explored one another’s bodies. The gentleness with which he touched her made her body quiver and tingle. There was no rush, no selfishness, and she reacted in kind.
The piercing ring of the phone made them both jump. She got up to answer it, and took a few deep breaths before she lifted the receiver to her ear. She turned to face Kelvin as she said, “Hello Tony.”
While he told her he wanted her ready to go out when he got home, she and Kelvin were making themselves presentable. Tony was getting off early. It appeared he had forgotten to tell her he wanted to go for dinner and a movie that evening.
When she got off the phone she said, “You had better go, he has decided to come home early. Maybe there will be another time for lessons.”
Kelvin kissed her deeply, and said, “I am sure there will be. He cannot always spoil things.”
He slipped out the door, closing it softly behind him. She hugged herself and wished things were different. Wishing they did not have to worry about being discovered. They were lucky this time; Tony could have come home without warning. She wondered what she was going to do. Nothing was as simple as it should be.
She limped to the bedroom and put on jeans and an embroidered blouse. In the bathroom, she brushed her hair until it shone. She put on a little make up hoping Tony would be pleased.
When he came home, he rushed past her, and slammed the bedroom door. He came out a few minutes later in jeans and a concert tee shirt. He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.
He asked, “What are you looking at?”
She said, “I was just thinking you should not drink and drive.”
He frowned and said, “What makes you think I am driving? You can do it just as well as I can. At least you are good for that.”
She winced, thinking how different it was dealing with Kelvin. She wished she could walk away, but it was all so complicated. When she moved out of her parents’ house, she had promised herself she would never go back to that torment. Yet there was really nowhere else she could go. Better here with Tony, than there.
They ate at her favorite barbecue place, but Tony flirted with the waitress every time she came around. He left a twenty-dollar tip and laughed at Morgan’s raised eyebrows and open mouth.
The movie was another horror film. When she tried to hold his hand during the scary parts, he brushed her away. When she screamed, he laughed at her. Walking to the car, he strode off ahead of her. He turned the stereo so loud on the way home that it gave her a headache.
He jumped out of the car when they reached the apartment and hurried inside. She found the door locked again. The lights were out when she came through the door. She reached for the switch and he grabbed her wrist and slipped in behind her putting his other hand over her mouth when she started to scream. She stumbled and he let go of her. She fell hard onto the floor.
He laughed, “Not such a brave bitch now, are you? Get up you sorry piece of shit! Get to the bedroom; I have a little game in mind.”
She tried to get up, but found her ankle did not want to support her.
She said, “You’ll have to help me, Tony. My ankle twisted again as I fell.”
He yelled, “I’m not helping you. Crawl like the dog you are, but hurry the hell up.”
She whimpered, and crawled toward the bedroom. She was grateful the floor was clean since she had vacuumed that morning. Tony passed her and kicked one of her hands from under her so she almost hit the floor face first.
He turned the bedroom light on and she was grateful for the light. As she entered the room, he grabbed her, picked her up, and threw her on the bed. He took a rope and tied her hands above her head.
“You stay there, I’ll be right back,” he said.
She did not see where she had much choice, but to do as he told her. She wished Kelvin, Ramsey, and Wagner would appear at the door, knowing there was little chance of it.
He came back with a tumbler of whiskey over ice. He sat it on the nightstand and began undressing. He almost tore her clothes off. He rolled her over on her stomach and then she heard a hiss and felt a sting on her back. She cried out.
He said, “How’s that feel baby? You like that?”
She felt the sting again several times, and wondered what had given him this idea. She had known he bought a whip a while back, but thought it only a keepsake. He had never been this mean.
She said, “Please stop! I’ll do whatever you want, but please stop.”
He said, “Then get up and get me off. Since your hands are tied you will have to use your mouth, but you are good at that. Real good.”
She did as he said, trying to think of something else. Trying not to dwell on the degradation. She knew she could survive this, knew she would be okay. She had already proven herself strong.
After she had pleasured him once, he quickly revived. He threw her back down on her stomach and took her roughly from behind. When he was done, he finished his drink, lit his pot, and told her to leave him alone.
She stumbled out of the room, leaning heavily on the wall, with her hands still tied. She went to the bathroom and managed to get the rope off after several minutes. She put on her bathrobe and washed her face. She limped to the front room and found her crutches under one of the bunks. She got a Diet Coke out of the fridge; thanking God the episode was over. She hoped he would fall asleep, as he usually did after sex, and leave her in peace.
She thought back over the day as she sat at her desk. She took out pen and paper to begin writing. She shook her head musing what a difference a few hours could make.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Otherwise Entertained (10)
After doing chores and a quick shower on Friday morning, Morgan decided to go shopping at Winn-Dixie. She needed to pick up a few things in case the guys showed up that evening. She limped outside and got in Katie. It was the first time she had driven since injuring her ankle, but she had suffered such things in the past and thought she could handle it.
When she arrived at the store, she grabbed a buggy in the parking lot and hobbled inside. She put some chips, dip, orange juice, lettuce, tomatoes, Catalina, Ranch, and Thousand Island dressings, mushrooms, bell pepper, cucumbers, Froot Loops, milk, eggs, bread, hot dog buns, hamburger buns, butter, cheddar cheese, bologna, hot dogs, sliced ham, ground beef, grapes, oranges, strawberries, a bag of ice, Diet Coke, Sprite, and Coca Cola in the cart. While waiting in line she leafed through Cosmopolitan magazine, and glanced at the cover of Vogue.
The woman rang up her purchases and she checked the total. She realized she had enough money to afford the magazines and asked those be added to her bill. She paid with cash and pushed the buggy out to the car. There was plenty of room for everything in the cavernous trunk.
She drove home carefully, wincing when she had to stop at signs and traffic signals. Luckily, in the small town there were not many of those on her route. She unloaded the car and put all the groceries away. She noticed the spaghetti Tony had made several nights earlier was beginning to mold, but she was busy and forgot to throw it out.
She was a little nervous about what might happen that evening. She knew Kelvin said they would be there, but there had been no calls to confirm and she was not sure which of them would actually come over. She had not been able to concentrate very much on making up a new game scenario. Her mind kept wandering back to the magical moments in the woods. She marveled that one kiss could so disturb her equanimity.
Tony had been distant all week, as had been his demeanor for some time. She did not mind it so much, because her mind was elsewhere anyway. They did have sex a couple of times, but he was not tender or loving. It was just something to satisfy his physical needs. He had not been willing to take her to the hospital, so she was not sure how badly her ankle was hurt. He did nothing to make accommodation for her injury. When they went out, he had walked swiftly and left her behind him.
She took a second shower, enjoying the caress of the hot water and the sweet smells of soap, shampoo, and conditioner. As she toweled dry, she wondered what she should wear. She picked out a ruffled white shirt, black jeans, and a belt with a large Celtic buckle. She had never worn much make up, but she did her face carefully that afternoon. She highlighted her hazel eyes with an extra bit of mascara and curled her long straight auburn hair. As she applied the deep red lipstick, she wished her lips were thinner. She could not help remembering the taunts of her peers who called her nigger lips. Fortunately, the bullying had ended when she left school. She did not miss it much, although she always enjoyed learning new things. She thanked Jesus again that she no longer had to wear glasses, but had contacts that made the world much clearer than ever before. She decided to leave the bandage off, not wanting to draw any attention to her foot by going without her shoe. The Nikes were comfortable and she thought she would be fine. She should probably be using the crutches, as she had most of the week, but that was something she did not care to do in front of the guys, especially Kelvin.
Tony came home around 6:00, and said, “What have you been up to today? I see you cleaned yourself up nicely; too bad no one cares what you look like. You are basically useless.”
She replied, “I bought groceries and cleaned up around the house. You know your clothes do not pick themselves up off the floor and deposit themselves in the hamper. The bed would be a mess, as you left it, had I not made it. The dishes and the floor would still be dirty without my cleaning them up. I hope your day went well.”
He said, “Another day of endless packages, but I guess it could have been worse. I could have spent hours waiting on you to do something.”
He went to the bedroom and slammed the door. In a few minutes, she glanced up and saw him walk naked to the bathroom. He slammed that door and she heard the shower come on soon afterward.
When he came out, he yelled, “Why don’t you come bring me some clothes?”
She went to the bedroom and laid out an outfit she liked. He frowned at her, but did not complain. She was glad because she did not wish to argue over clothes.
About 7:00, there was a knock on the door. She opened it and found Kelvin, Ramsey, and Wagner waiting. They had their gear and some food. Wagner brought in a twelve pack of beer.
Tony said, “Thank you for bringing that buddy. I have had a rough day. An Olde E will go down good.”
Wagner said, “Yeah, I thought it would lighten up the evening.”
Kelvin took the twelve pack and put it in the refrigerator then passed Tony, Ramsey, and Wagner each a beer. He began arranging the food they had brought on the bar. There were nuts, a box of doughnuts, and a loaf of banana bread.
Morgan said, “Let me get that, you go sit with the others and relax. How was the day at school?”
“Ah, same old, same old. You know I am ready for it to be over. You were lucky to meet your requirements in the first quarter. You have always been extremely smart; it was not hard for you. I will be happy just to graduate on time,” he said with a rakish grin.
She laughed, “I am only a C student. I was just determined and I left my electives toward the end so the study was not too hard at the finish. The math in my sophomore and junior years almost defeated me. It was doubtful I would pass at times. Those D grades blew the rest of my average.”
“Yeah, you would say something like that, always humble,” he said.
“Not so much, just realistic. Now go sit, and enjoy yourself,” she said gently pushing him toward the others.
He grinned, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and took the few steps to where the others were seated.
There was a knock at the door, and Kelvin jumped up to open it. Cade, Jason, and Max poured into the room. They sat down on the bunks and Kelvin grabbed a few beer from the refrigerator. Morgan noticed he paused and shot her a puzzled look before closing the door. He handed out the brews without saying anything to her.
Tony finished his beer and told her, “Mix me something stronger. I want J.D. on the rocks.”
She took out a tumbler and fixed the drink. Tony snatched the glass from her hand and frowned at her.
“Can’t you move a little faster wench,” he growled.
She saw frowns on several faces around the room, but only Kelvin spoke, “Hey man, come on over here and chill out. Everything is cool.”
Morgan set up her game gear, but Tony said, “Just put on some music. I don’t feel like you managing my life tonight, even if it is only imaginary.”
Wagner said, “So we’re just going to drink until you are satisfied? The rest of us came to play the game.”
Tony spread his arms and said, “My house, my rules. You don’t like it you can get your asses out of here.”
Morgan put Black Sabbath on the stereo and moved back behind the bar. Things were not going as well as she hoped, but she thought a salad and sandwich might appease Tony. She fixed the food and took it to him because he had not had supper.
“You going to be rude and offer food to no one else. What a bitch!” He said and almost tumbled the plate and bowl from her hands.
Kelvin said, “The rest of us already ate, but there are plenty of snacks. Enjoy your meal.”
The album reached the end of side one and Ramsey turned it over. The tension in the room was palpable.
Some of the others got a second beer and took snacks from the bar. The chips needed refilling, so Morgan poured some in the bowl.
Cade said, “Tony, what if we play in Ambazzar tonight? I am sure Ramsey is prepared for some gaming.”
Ramsey said, “Sure, if that is okay with you, Tony.”
Tony nodded and said, “Sure, I just did not want to play in her world. I have too much of her in my life already.”
Ramsey pulled out some papers and asked the others, “Do you all have your characters?”
There was a unanimous chorus of yeses around the room.
As they played in the dungeon, Morgan handed out more beer and fixed drinks for those who wanted something stronger. She noticed Kelvin and Ramsey were nursing their first beer of the night. Some of the others began to show signs of inebriation because the liquor was flowing too.
She limped to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. After she washed her hands, as she was drying them, she heard the door rattle and Jason stumbled into the room. He stopped and locked the door, then turned to face her.
She backed up and he reached out for her. He said, “I’ve come for you, Morgan. I have been waiting for a long time. I’m going to take you to Hell.”
She screamed, knowing the others were only a few feet away. He grabbed her shirt and she slipped out of his grasp. She almost fell as she backed into the tub. She screamed some more, but there was no answer. Jason grinned at her and his eyes seemed to blaze.
As he came closer to her once more, she said, “Get thee behind me, Satan! The blood of Jesus Christ saves me. You have no dominion over me. Leave now!”
He shuddered, turned, and left the small bathroom. She crept out of the tub. When she looked in the mirror, she realized she was deathly pale. She straightened and buttoned her shirt where his hands had rearranged her clothes.
When Morgan limped back to the front room, Jason was laying sprawled on the floor fast asleep. No one else seemed to know anything untoward had happened.
The game broke up a while later and the guys drifted off. Max and Cade woke Jason and supported him as they walked to the car.
Before Kelvin left he asked her, “Is Tony working tomorrow?”
“Yes, he said he had a full day. Why?” She said.
“I just wondered, he may have quite a hangover the way he has been drinking. You have a good night and take care. We’ll see you soon,” he said and left.
As she began cleaning up, Tony said, “Leave that, it can wait. Come to bed with me. I want you.”
When she stepped in the bedroom, he grabbed her roughly and almost bruised her mouth as he kissed her. His mouth tasted strongly of whiskey and she tried to turn away.
“You whore, don’t try to act innocent with me. Please me. You know how I like it. Do it now.”
He tore her shirt and pushed her onto the bed. He pulled her clothes off and undressed himself. She focused on the owl across the room as he took her repeatedly.
After he fell into a satisfied sleep, she got up and showered herself off. It did not seem to wash her clean though. She went into the front room and cleaned up the mess of the night. There were beer cans and glasses to be collected. There was not much food left, but the dishes had to be washed and put away.
When she was done with that, she sleeved the albums and put them in the rack under the stereo. She sat down at her desk and took out her journal. Thank God, no one ever read it. There was no way anyone would believe this night.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, November 4, 2013
I have a warning for you all who are reading going forward, there are adult language, situations, and content in the coming pages. If you think this might offend you, you probably should refrain from reading the story. I think I will be able to write without being too explicit, but at this point I am not positive where the story will take me. I would think it could get by with a PG rating were it a movie, but it might possibly be R. I don’t think I have what it takes to write X rated content. I did want to warn you though. There are also possible triggers for those who might have experienced abuse… As with all stories, you read at your own risk…
Otherwise Entertained (9)
One afternoon after coming home from work, Tony changed out of his brown uniform and put on gym shorts and a tee shirt. He suggested they go to a local burger place for something to eat before heading to Ramsey’s for the evening of gaming.
In the line for their orders, Morgan noticed several high school girls staring at Tony. She followed their gaze and realized his penis was sticking out of the leg of the shorts.
She leaned over to him and whispered, “Your parts are showing.”
He laughed, “It’s okay, I meant to do that.”
Morgan just stared at him a few moments incredulously. She wondered whom this man was she had married.
When they got in the car after the embarrassing moments spent eating, she suggested they go home for him to change before going to Ramsey’s house. She did not want to sit through whatever comments might be lobbed at them if the guys saw him that way. He agreed and they hurried to make it to the apartment and then arrive for the game on time.
Kelvin, Wagner, Jason, Max, Cade, and Ramsey were waiting and Morgan apologized for her and Tony being late.
Kelvin said, “Actually the rest of us are early, you two are almost always on time.”
She smiled at him, grateful for his kind remark.
In moments, they were embroiled in a battle with giant spiders and somehow Celeste was killed. Kaos put her on his horse and carried her back to town. The party tried to find someone to resurrect her, but they found they did not possess enough gold to buy such a miracle. Therefore, she was burned on a pyre and her ashes were scattered on the water of a river.
Morgan rolled a new character, while the others discussed the next adventure. She named the human magic user, Morgana, and rejoined the game. The rest of the evening, Kaos stayed near her, and Cornelius did not seem to mind.
Morgan wondered at Kelvin’s interest in her character, but figured since his Kaos was a half-orc and Morgana had an eighteen charisma score that it might all be part of the game.
After two hours of unrelenting game play, everyone packed up their stuff and went to the kitchen for snacks. Ramsey suggested they do something different since it was a full moon. He wanted to play a game of war in the wooded acreage surrounding the house. Evidently, everyone except Morgan had known about it beforehand, because they all simply went to their vehicles for flashlights. Tony went to the car and came back with one light. Morgan thought this would mean she was left out of the fun, but Kelvin went back out and came in with an extra flashlight.
Sawyer decided to join the rest of them and Ramsey explained if someone hit you with their light, you were dead. They divided into teams based on dice rolls. Tony and Morgan ended up on opposing teams. Kelvin knew the woods because he and Ramsey had been friends almost as long as they could remember. He told her to stay close to him.
Under the trees, the moon only dappled a portion of the paths. They all spread out and Morgan had trouble keeping up because she kept stumbling over roots. Kelvin seemed like he belonged in this environment as sure footed as a mountain goat. They had to keep their flashlights out so as not to draw attention to themselves and be killed. There were bursts of running and then times when they tried to move as quietly as ghosts.
After about an hour in the woods, a couple had been killed. Kelvin began to move again and Morgan followed. She looked away a moment because she thought she heard someone else moving nearby. She somehow managed to fall down a small ravine. Her ankle twisted and she gasped at the sharp pain, but she could not call out because it would mean being captured or killed by the other team. She waited, hoping Kelvin would realize she was no longer with him. After several minutes, she heard someone approach on the path above.
Kelvin said, “Morgan are you somewhere here?”
She whispered, “I fell down and hurt myself. I cannot climb out of this ravine. Can you help?”
Kelvin said, “Yes, I think I see you. Just be still and I will be down in a minute, but keep quiet, others are not far away.”
She waited, watching him carefully scale the slope. After he reached her, he helped her to her feet.
“I cannot put much weight on my right foot. It really hurts,” she whispered.
He turned on his flashlight and said, “Sit back down, but let me look at it. If you are badly hurt the game is over anyway.”
She pulled up the leg of her jeans and they both saw the ankle, which was already beginning to swell.
Kelvin leaned over her and said, “Put your arms around my neck and try to stand. I will take you in my arms and carry you back to the house.”
She began to protest, “It’s too far for you to carry me. I’ll…”
“Quiet now, it’s no problem. I have you. Remember, no man, or woman, left behind,” he said.
He slowly climbed the steep wall of the ravine. She was surprised he could carry her because he was rather thin and did not look very strong. When they got back on the path, he stopped.
He looked around and seemed to determine they were still alone.
“I’ve wanted to do this for quite a while,” he said and gently kissed her.
It was so sweet, and Morgan responded to kiss by returning it. She thought this was probably very wrong. In fact, she knew it was wrong, but now it felt totally right.
He gripped her body a little tighter and said, “We should get back, someone might wonder what happened to us.”
She said, “Yes, that would be best.”
After about fifteen minutes, they made it to the area where the cars were parked.
Tony, who they had killed earlier, appeared out of the shadows and asked, “Why are you carrying her?”
“I fell and twisted my ankle. He brought me back because I could not walk this far,” Morgan answered.
He laughed, “Oh yeah. I knew this was no game for a girl like you. I would have made you walk. You want to act tough, you can be tough.”
Kelvin set her on her feet near Katie and said, “Some sport you are, Tony.”
He headed to Wagner’s car and sounded the horn in three long blasts. Soon everyone appeared out of the woods.
Ramsey asked, “Why did you call off the game Kelvin?”
“That is what we usually do when someone is hurt. Morgan twisted her ankle falling down the ravine,” he replied.
Tony said, “Yeah, she cannot run with the big boys.”
Ramsey said, “Well, it was a good night and we can always do it again. You’re going to go get your books and things, aren’t you Tony?”
He said, “Sure,” and went into the house.
Kelvin asked, “Is he like this often?”
Morgan shook her head and said, “Sometimes, not usually where anyone sees it.”
Ramsey said, “That really sucks.”
Wagner spoke up, “Yeah, he should not act that way with his wife.”
When Tony returned, Kelvin said, “You should drive home. It would not be good for Morgan to do it. Do you have an ace bandage to wrap that ankle in?”
Tony answered, “Yeah, she has one from the last time she sprained something. I’ll get her home alright.”
Morgan opened the door and got in the car, when Tony turned on the ignition she rolled the window down and told the guys, “Thank you all for the great night. We will see you soon. Maybe Friday night at our apartment.”
Kelvin said, “Yeah, we will see you then.”
Tony drove home with the stereo blaring and did not even speak to her the whole way. When he parked in the driveway, he got out and went in the apartment leaving her in the car. She limped to the door and found he had locked it. She took her keys out of her pocket and unlocked it.
When she got inside she saw he had already went to the bedroom and shut the door. She silently thanked God that she had her keys. She sat down at the desk she had used for homework growing up and thought over what had happened.
She had not expected Kelvin to help her by toting her through the woods. The kiss had come as a total surprise, but she wondered if it would happen again. It was very special. She knew it should never be repeated, but she hoped it would be.
It was unusual for Tony to act so mean where others could see and hear it, but she was well aware he could be abusive.
She went to the bathroom and found the bandage to wrap her ankle. It was extremely swollen by now, but she hoped it was not broken. She went back to her desk, took out some paper, and began writing a poem. At least writing would keep her mind off the pain.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, November 4, 2013
I wrote this directly on my Facebook timeline. It was not edited or overwrought, just pure emotion and longing expressed. I thought perhaps it would be well to share it here…
Thoughts, Running Behind
He is not mine,
But my mind does stray
To him who at my side
Did once chance to stay.
If I could but change
Those things that drove
Us far asunder and apart,
I gladly would yet do it.
However, time has passed
Me by and taken him
Away from my side,
So now I only miss him.
I urge you each
To love while you can
And be careful of your words
That you not lose your beloved.
If I had it all to do again,
I would make sure
I kept him close
And never lost him.
My heart, it beats,
My life shudders…
Perhaps one day
Love will find me once more.
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Sunday, June 30, 2013
It is not much compared to the Creativity Project, but perhaps the offering of the heart is worth at least something.
I hope all is well with you my friends. I have not in the least forgotten you. I am just taking some time.
Red is the passion
Of a heart unfettered by
Any real restraint,
One that is given freely,
Scarlet are kisses
Tracking over the body
Of one who lays down
All inhibitions that hold
Burning emotions at bay.
Red is fulfillment
Of wildly raging lovers
In each other’s arms,
Carrying them beyond all
Their dearly held fantasies.
Crimson is the first
Flush of love opening souls
To one another,
The divine connection draws
Sweethearts together always.
Red is the growing
Trust between any who share
Intertwined lives for
Longer than they ever had
Reason to expect they would.
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, June 3, 2013
I am grateful:
1. I woke up early.
2. I had a hot shower.
3. Mom was able to get her bath.
4. The tablet I wanted went on sale.
5. Best Buy did have it, even though one of the sales associates said they did not.
I had a great Monday, although Mom was in a lot of pain and I was saddened by her discomfort. I hope your day was also good. I encourage you to take time to use your imagination and create something to share with others. Even if you only work for your own pleasure it is worthwhile. However, your talent is sure to move people if you put your creations on display.
As a prompt, write about something you have delayed doing. Maybe it is buying something, or sharing news with someone you care about. Whatever it is, write it out. If you use this prompt, please leave a link to your work in the comments below.
Thank you for visiting my blog. I am embarked on a challenge throughout June sponsored by Our Lost Jungle. I hope this will keep me motivated. Please come back to see what I am doing often. You might like to subscribe to Chronicles by email so you receive updates. You comments are always welcome, so leave one below.
I wrote the following poem in the deep darkness of the early morning hours. There is an element of crisis to it…
Am I so wholly
Unpleasing to God that He
Would fully desert
Those for whom I so dearly
Care, leaving them to suffer?
So it seems to me,
For I have constantly prayed
Entreating the Lord
To reach down in His mercy
And alleviate their pain,
But with no result.
I am bereft; believing,
Praying, and hoping
Has worked no good on their part,
They are in great agony.
I am now beset
With undeniable doubt,
I am not given
The strength of faith that Job had;
I am so weakling a worm.
Yet still I pray God
Even should He find it just
To forsake my cause
That He would show unceasing
Love and tenderness to them.
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, May 30, 2013
This was a Facebook status inspired by the above picture and divided into lines to make a poem…
In Life’s Garden
People are beautiful
And delicate like Summer roses.
They need careful tending
And abundant love to
Reach their glorious potential.
No matter their appearance
People are worthy of respect.
Nurture every person
Who touches your life
And show your gratitude
For the blessings they impart.
Like the roses, people only
Bloom for a little while
And then they fade away.
You are only left with
Memories of their splendor.
So cherish your moments with
Others and share your
Feelings of love.
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, May 30, 2013
I am grateful:
1. I got a little sleep, but accomplished a lot overnight.
2. I decided to call Qwest Diagnostics, and hopefully took care of that problem.
3. We were not late to Mom’s appointment.
4. The new program seems to be helping Mom a little.
5. I got some beautiful pictures today.
This was an emotional Thursday. I hope your day was more stable and enjoyable. I encourage you to engage your imagination and do some creative work. I guarantee it will enrich your life and touch others with whom you share. You may believe you have nothing to say, but if you open your mind you will find words. I believe in your talent. Believe in yourself.
As a prompt, write a crisis poem, story, or journal entry. You might want to resolve the crisis or leave it as a cliffhanger. You know what writing will nourish you. Follow your heart. If you use this prompt, please leave a link to your work in the comments below.
Thank you so much for reading my words. I have managed another day of writing and I have a little hope that I can go on. You might want to subscribe to Chronicles for future updates. I hope you will also come back to visit. Your comments are always appreciated and they help encourage me. Sometimes I feel the writing is too personal and I should stop sharing, but you all help me go on.